Would you be impressed if this blog post was sharing my adventures of taking lessons to become a pilot? Would that not be an outrageous quest? Unfortunately, employment in higher education does not financially align with flying lessons! But you know what? The enjoyment I receive from flying is fairly remarkable, and I can venture my gaze outside the window with no worries of needing to be alert to other air traffic. My mind is free to imagine all the places to go if I only owned a private jet or to simply view the vivid colors God paints with a sunrise or sunset in the clouds!

Instead this post offers an inner look into a life where one is journeying solo whether that is by choice or God’s design. For this lady, it is definitely God’s design and not personal choice as there were aspirations of being a wife and mom; however, I stick by my choice to follow God’s path rather than my own, even when it makes no sense and the loneliness of an empty house can be overwhelming.

Listening to a 2017 message series by Levi Lusko entitled Wild, Blue Yonder, I am reminded of what a small perspective of life I actually have, and I defer to the One who has the larger view of my life and what is to come. Lusko interviews astronaut Shane Kimbrough as he shares the perspective they have of Earth from outer space and never-tiring of the view from the Cupola aboard the space station. It is this perspective of being marked by where we are going rather than where we are while keeping our eyes on the city in the sky that I must embrace.

Although I often find a deep struggle with singleness, God often sends little reminders that there are pros and cons to any familial status, and one is not inherently better than another. This morning I had the freedom to book a trip based solely on my goal to complete a race in all 50 states before the age of 50 without any input from another person (More on that journey in Racing to Roam). Indulging my own desires, I scheduled the trip that suited my needs, but I admit, it is more fun to plan an itinerary with another traveler. Even when traveling solo though, God usually provides the opportunity to engage with others along the way or allows for a time of solitude to enjoy His creation, which both have their benefits.

Laughingly discussing with fellow COMer, Doug Ellis, the drawbacks of never having a wedding nor baby shower and 22 years after purchasing my first home, it’s time to replace some items, Doug suggested I create my own “Spinster Shower” and register for new dishes and linens! Doubtful that I will send out invitations any time soon, it is worth pondering that household items do last a bit longer when only being used by one. Once upon a time I teased my mother for her 40-year-old plastic bathroom garbage can, but now I’m beginning to comprehend that good stewardship in household items equates to the ability to make those travel plans to New Mexico for a Thanksgiving race.

Now, mentioning a holiday such as Thanksgiving, reminds me that these times are more challenging when traveling solo. Personally, it means that I was not able to cultivate my own holiday traditions with my kids, whatever those might have been, and we find subtle reminders of our status in the most unique of places. Last weekend I had the pleasure of spending the day with the large Johnson clan. As a friend of the family for many years, I was invited to a birthday celebration where the house was filled with multiple generations from a three-year-old to the those in their 70s. From the laughter around the pool, mini golf course, and cornhole boards to the competition around the ping pong table, the house and yard were full of activity, aromas of wonderful food, and interesting conversation.

Returning home that evening, standing in the kitchen, and opening the refrigerator door, I was struck with how stark the difference was between the contents in my home and the one at the Johnson home. Although my monthly grocery budget is thankfully paltry compared to a house of five, it is a reminder that my dreams of a house filled with kids and their friends did not pan out, but that doesn’t mean that God’s plan for me holds any less significance. It just means that regardless of our family dynamics, we must continue to place our trust in our Savior that our days on this Earth are only to serve as preparation for the life to come. A social media post this week from Jon Gordon informs us that “one person will influence 80,000 thousand people in their life. Enough to fill a stadium. But remember, even if you influence just one person, you are a leader! Choose to be a positive leader and make a positive impact.”

The irony is not lost on me that a single person is writing a blog on relationships; however, I believe the fact that God has chosen singleness for me emphasizes my dependency on others. The relational equity built between family, colleagues, church members, and community becomes more vital when you do not have a built-in family in your home. Who else will come over and help you mount that new flatscreen?

I’m grateful when friends include me in their family events from birthday celebrations to soccer, baseball, and tennis. Being provided a choice to be engaged with others or to remain alone at home is an option for me because of the wonderful people God has placed in my life. But some of our neighbors who are flying solo aren’t as fortunate, and I ask that you consider who might be invited to your next family event? Is there someone in your sphere of influence who could benefit from your hospitality and your influence on their lives?

Please consider sharing your thoughts in the comments below.