by Lyndsay Dawkins, Marketing & Events Coordinator, RIFA of Jackson

Let’s evaluate your relationships. Think about your relationships with your family. Think about your relationships with your close friends. Think about your relationships within the professional or school setting. What is your conclusion?

When I think about my relationships, I take them for granted so often. They are hard at times, messy, and take time to invest in. Relationships are a part of all aspects of our lives—personal to professional. Why do we take them for granted if they are so important? Why do we not see the importance of them? Why do we not take the time to invest in them.

One of our most precious resources is people. Let’s be honest—I don’t always see it like that. I don’t like putting in the work sometimes. I want to get something out of the relationship without putting anything in or adding value.

As John Maxwell states in his book Winning with People, “Good relationships are the foundation for achievement. Relationships are more than just the icing on the cake in life: They are the cake—the very substance we need to live successful and fulfilling lives.”

I read an article a long time ago by John Maxwell about Investment Strategies for Relationships. Maxwell talks about viewing relationships as a stock market and not the slot machine. Think of the stock market as long term investment and not instant gratification like a slot machine. This article has helped me see the importance of relationships and making them a priority in my life.

1) Think “Others First”

Human nature tends to focus us on personal needs, but investing in relationships requires us to prioritize others. Instead of self-advancement, think others-enhancement. Like a responsible investor, resist the temptation to “time” the relational market, using someone only for short-term gain. That’s a strategy doomed to fail. On the contrary, make a habit of adding value in relationships and trust that the long-term results will be in your favor.

2) Focus on the Investment, Not the Return

If you’ve ever purchased stocks personally, then you know the agony of watching the vicissitudes of the market. Like a roller coaster, your portfolio climbs up one day only to lurch down the next day. Instead of agonizing over returns, a shrewd investor focuses on making the investment. The same principle holds true in relationships. Don’t expect specific and immediate benefit from your relational inputs. Through time, you’ll be taken care of as long as you’re willing to invest.

3) Make Educated Investments

Not all investments yield the same interest, and not all relationships produce the same reward. As a leader, make investing in others a general principle, but be deliberate about putting energy into low-risk, high-reward relationships. Seek out talented people with teachable dispositions, and offer your relational capital to those who will make the most of it.

4) Initiate the investment

A stockbroker won’t hack into your bank account and invest money on your behalf. You have to be willing to take the first step. Don’t be stingy with your relational investments, giving only to those who’ve first given to you. Rather, take responsibility for setting the tone of adding value in your relationships.

Part of investing in relationships is adding value to others. No one becomes successful by themselves. We all have people that have helped influence and shape our lives from a parent to a teacher to the neighbor down the street.

I can’t recall the person who said this quote, but the words are profound. “The only thing that will last is what you invest in people.”

When we pass on, our earthly possessions will not leave a legacy. Our money can only go so far. But, how we invest and add value to others will far out last after we are gone. Adding value to others that multiply when they add value to others, creates a legacy.

John Maxwell describes a mentor as “someone who teaches, guides and lifts you up by virtue of his or her experience and insight. They’re usually someone a little farther ahead of you on the path—though that doesn’t always mean they’re older! A mentor is someone with a head full of experience and heart full of generosity that brings those things together in your life.”

I have two people in my life that I call mentors. These ladies have shown me wise paths and challenged me to grow personally and spiritually. They have guided me through the hardest parts of my life so far, and I can’t imagine what I would do without them. They have taken the time to invest in me and add value to my life—more than they will ever realize.

One of my mentors came through an internship that I had in college. She taught me the things you don’t learn in the textbooks. She showed me how to be a Christian in the business world and not give up your values and integrity to win a bid on a project. She showed me how to be a part of a team. She showed me how good ideas fail sometimes, but we have to try again. Her investment into my life helped shaped me. I intentionally try every year to have an intern to pass along the same principles that she taught me many years ago.

Are you investing in your relationships? Are you adding value to others? Do you have a mentor? Please share in the comments below.