Wouldn’t it be accommodating if God created us with gauges on our foreheads like those on our automobile’s dashboard that would allow us to take a reading on friends, colleagues, or even acquaintances? Humble inquiry would be much simpler if a gauge on my colleague’s forehead informed me that his tank of authentic appreciation was a little low. With a few humble questions, I am able to decipher some ideas for how to prevent his “check gauges” light from glowing red. As a friend who has created relational equity with this colleague and therefore knows his appreciation language, Myers-Brigg letters, and even his Enneagram number, the opportunity arises for a demonstration of appreciation that speaks most deeply to him.

Throughout this research on creating relational equity and navigating how to best serve emerging adults from Gen Z, the imagery of gauges, dashboards, headlights, and other automobile-related icons frequently appear. It could just be a coincidence or that my mind is always dreaming of the next road trip, but deep inside, I believe God uses imagery we can easily relate to when attempting to communicate with us. As one who envisions life as a pilgrimage we are on, vertically with God and horizontally with others, then travel and automotive metaphors are beneficial. So, I repeat my earlier statement about wishing God created us with gauges on our forehead, but since he did not choose this option for humans, it shifts the responsibility to me to know and care for those around me.

Please do not be surprised if we are engaged in some type of relationship, either personal or professional, if I humbly inquire if you have participated in specific self-awareness assessments. The motivation behind these inquiries is an effort “to experience the world through [your]eyes…and to simply love [you].” In The Road Back to You, Cron shares that the Enneagram “teaches us something about the nature and character of the God who made us. Inside each number is a hidden gift that reveals something about God’s heart.”

In a message series entitled All You Need Is, John Ortberg explains Gary Chapman’s love languages (or appreciation at work) concept and how vital it is for us to embrace speaking other languages. If we are to love others as Jesus has asked us to do, should we not desire to have intimate knowledge of who He created them to be? With knowledge I am better equipped to create relational equity with others and to hopefully allow them to feel appreciated in their own unique way.

Sometimes attempting to love someone outside of our native language can be uncomfortable, but Ortberg challenges us to “Do that a thousand times, and it will start to feel a little less uncomfortable. Even if it doesn’t, this is not about feeling a little less uncomfortable. It’s about love, and love is not about my comfort. Love is willing to experience discomfort in order to work for the good of the other.” So, although people within my sphere of influence may not have a “check gauge” light emboldened on their forehead, I should be able to witness a visible response when their tank begins to fill, possibly through a smile, the erasure of worry lines, or a change in physical posture.

So, in closing, as a number five on the Enneagram, I crave knowledge about those within my sphere so that I can best support and love them. The intent is not to categorize anyone into a pre-set mold or a set of specific behaviors, but if I am aware you are an ISTJ and feel appreciated through acts of service or words of affirmation, then by golly, I’m going to make efforts to love and care for you by honoring the way God designed you so that you may flourish!