Connecting with the previous post outlining the characteristics of déjà vu people, I will add Henry Cloud’s principle number eight, which is to Be Humble. If someone demonstrates a flourishing life including personal and professional success, they are likely embodying a spirit of humility. Cloud encourages us to consider how humility contributes to success in work and relationships and to pursue an answer to the question, “How does the successful déjà vu person show humility?

Humility is not having a need to be more than you are.

Cloud shares, “When I think of how the déjà vu person performs in the arena of humility, that is a pretty good description-to just be who he or she really is, a human being like everyone else, avoiding the need to be more than that.” Explaining this concept further, Cloud shares the story of Ryan who was venturing out to sell soap in China by getting a job on a rice farm. Because Ryan had previously demonstrated success selling laundry soap in other countries, it would have been easy for him to assume there was nothing else for him to learn. “Pride would have assumed or acted like he did know, but not the humility that allows a déjà vu person to be what he really is in such a situation: ignorant.” While working on the rice farm, Ryan discovered the true soap needs of the Chinese rice farmers had more to do with water than soap. As a result of his willingness to learn, he was able to direct his company on how to create the best product to fit what the people truly needed.

Looking at the important ways that humility contributes to success, Cloud reveals that “humility identifies with others.” Communicating a tough time in a business dealing, Cloud asked God for guidance when a déjà vu friend phoned, and Cloud was hesitant to open up about the situation fearing embarrassment at this perceived business failure. Rather than ridicule Cloud for his snafu, the déjà vu friend shared how common it is for successful people to have struggles and to navigate through these types of issues. “But knowing that this is a part of the path of success, and that even very successful people go through loss, failure, and crises, gave me the courage and hope that I had not had before. God had answered my prayer for guidance in a way that I never would have foreseen by giving me a moment with a déjà vu friend.”

Déjà vu people, through humility, accept their own mistakes and failures and see “them as a part of the process itself.” In addition to identifying with others, humble déjà vu people are “not surprised that they make mistakes, and as a result, they can identify with others who do, give to them, and not judge them wrongly.” Through this authentic humility, déjà vu people are able to mentor others, especially emerging adults who will make frequent mistakes, and genuinely guide them to flourish by “extending themselves to serve others, giving of themselves.”

Understanding that déjà vu people create relational equity in others over time by humbly giving of themselves paints a description for us that we should all attempt to emulate. Déjà vu people “have extended themselves to understand and reach out to others, and as a result they are highly appreciated and loved.” Who would not want to be described this way? “They create true networks of care in their lives. They experience high quality relationships as a result of their high quality of giving and understanding. People appreciate them, and their lives are full of love, both in the workplace and personally…their giving is pure…They give freely because they truly do identify with others. And because they give freely, not to get anything in return, they are truly appreciated and do get a lot in return.”

Wow! Can you imagine a better description for a flourishing person who has invested and created relational equity in their lives? Déjà vu, or flourishing, people, understand failure is a natural part of life and are not surprised when it happens. They learn when they flounder and use the struggle to develop self-confidence which “comes from accepting flaws and mistakes and realizing that you can go forward and grow past them.”

Personally, this principle connects to the last post which again emphasizes the importance of action, don’t let a failure keep you from moving forward. Has there been a time when a successful person you admired floundered a bit and was humble enough to share this experience with you? If so, please share in the comments below.