Self and Others

Imagine sitting across the table from a hiring committee in the organization where you’ve always dreamed of being employed. Probing questions have been asked and you feel confident that the interview has proceeded well. After touring the organization, dining with colleagues, and mingling with potential members of your team, there arises a sense of unease. There is nothing really specific that can be easily pointed to; however, your instinct is creating a cloud of doubt. Within a short period of time, the offer for your “dream” position has been made with the stipulation that you accept or decline within the next 48 hours. How do you proceed to make this monumental decision?

For those who have chosen a life of faith, I hope you pray first because God knows you and the desires of your heart intimately (Psalm 37). Once you voice your prayers, you discern that you are in need of advice from someone with skin on, so you dial the number of a trusted member of your posse or personal board of directors or a mentor. Wrestling with a continued sense of unease, maybe you create a list with the pros and cons of the position, but there is still a nagging feeling that will not leave. At this juncture, I firmly believe that those individuals who have developed a Habit of Awareness have additional resources to reach from in making this life-changing decision.

There are two vital aspects to comprehending the Habit of Awareness that include both self-awareness and others-awareness. Understanding of the person God created us to be with specific talents and gifts along with identifying how we communicate, how we love, and what we value can provide direction for finding a vocation, a purpose, and life of significance. In The Art of Work, Jeff Goins shares Frederick Buechner’s advice, “an author who spent part of his  life as a schoolteacher and another part as a minister, he observed that finding your vocation is less about grand moments of discovery and more about a habit of awareness.” Goins continues, “You don’t ‘just know’ what your calling is. You must listen for clues along the way, discovering what your life can tell you. Awareness comes with practice.”

When making the decision to accept or decline a position, the one who is self-aware has an “inner observer” guiding the process. John Ortberg shares in All the Places to Go, “Maybe you already have a highly accurate intuition of all this. However, likely you would benefit from working with wise, balanced, and unbiased mentors to clarify and confirm your unique wiring. By knowing yourself, you will develop a new set of valuable lenses to evaluate potential opportunities and to prioritize work that you could pursue and work that you probably shouldn’t.” Because you have become a student of you, there is an awareness that the leadership style of your potential supervisor and the methods in which you need to be guided differ greatly; therefore, this may not be the right timing to accept the position at your “dream” organization.

In addition to developing self-awareness to guide in determining one’s calling, being others-aware calls us to live alert for the “heart drops” of others where one is listening rather than telling and investing in creating relational equity. As one becomes a student of themselves, the ripple effect is that wisdom of others is also created as one learns communication signals, appreciation preferences, leadership styles, and the best environment for creating deep and satisfying work. Others-awareness might also even expand to gaining knowledge about the culture of an organization and honing intuition about the setting where you can flourish.

Utilizing the wealth of tools available to gain knowledge of yourself and others, a person who embraces the Habit of Awareness allows God to best use them for a greater purpose. “We each have a God-given purpose that is tied to our God-given wiring. What do I mean by that? I believe whole-heartedly that the way God designed us individually is meant for a corporate purpose. Our temperaments, talents, experiences, and spiritual gifts all come together within the sovereignty of God’s plan to be used by Him in fulfilling His broader purposes,” explains Pulliam in Impact Together.

Have you developed a Habit of Awareness? If not, there are numerous assessments that I recommend that each provide a unique perspective on human behavior. If you have a favorite tool that has assisted you either personally or professionally, please share the name and any insight it provided in the comments below.

References:

Goins, J. (2015). The art of work: A proven path to discovering what you were meant to do. NY: Harper Collins Leadership.

Ortberg, J. (2015). All the places to go…how will you know? Tyndale Publishers.

Pulliam, E. (2016). Impact together: Biblical mentoring simplified. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform.