This pilgrimage to comprehend why some people flourish, even in difficult times, while others, who appear to have an easy path, seem to flounder, is generating more questions than answers. Although days exist when it would be enjoyable to uncover a one-size-fits-all approach to navigating relationships, careers, and life in general, in order to experience a sense of accomplishment in attaining the answer to flourishing at life, it seems that God is more interested in showing me what it means to Get Better in all dimensions of my own life.

In the post Good, Better, Best, I expressed the idea that God has a preferred future for all of us, but sometimes in our stubborn human nature, we make a choice to settle for less; we are content to accept what David Marquet calls a “be good” mindset. Throughout this journey, God is asking me to examine times when I find contentment in the ‘‘be good” mindset and instead opt for a “Get Better” approach to my personal, professional, and spiritual development. Personally, this struggle might be demonstrated in a classroom presentation, where even though at the end of last semester I jotted a personal note which stated, “This is boring! Needs improvement,” I continue the current term using the same information without making the changes that would truly make it a Better lesson.

Inside of me is a deep desire to cultivate the Get Better mindset in my life, but to also sow the seeds of the improvement mindset in my students. Being especially relevant with Gen Z, the Get Better mindset shifts their perspective that the investment of time equates to quality work. We all become emotionally attached to things we spend time on, but it is also critical that we allow ourselves room to receive feedback on those investments so that they Get Better. Marquet shares, “…people are typically attached to their previous work and now we need to them to admit it could be done better. We need them to shift out of their prove mindsets to an improve mindset. We need to leave the prove mindset behind and almost think of ourselves as detached observers of what we have previously done. We call that self that wants to hang on to our previous work, wanting it to be recognized as good, the ‘be good’ self. The ‘be good’ self needs to be tamed in order to activate the ‘get better’ self.”

In an ideal world, when students receive feedback from me on an assignment, I want them to utter the words, “Thanks, Julie. I see where I can improve on this assignment. I will do better on the next one I turn in.” Instead, the statements I hear align with ones Marquet offers in Leadership is Language and sound more like, “I didn’t do anything wrong” or “I assumed that’s what you wanted.” One of my favorites for understanding the “be good” mindset is, “We’ve always done it this way.” Protecting our self-esteem with defending statements is more common, as it is difficult to disconnect emotionally and see that the feedback is only trying to make us Get Better.

In my opinion, we only Get Better when we are open to valuable feedback from people we trust, whether that comes in the form of verbal advice from a mentor, written advice from others, or God’s word in Scripture. What is currently holding you back from Getting Better at some aspect of your life? By embracing an improve mindset, how might you move along the Good, Better, Best continuum to the preferred life God has for you?

Reference:

Marquet, L.D. (2020). Leadership is language: The hidden power of what you say-and what you don’t. Portfolio/Penguin.