After engaging in a conversation with my neighbor, Mike, the other day about his upcoming high school reunion, I was reminded of how fascinating group dynamics can be, especially considering that at the same time, I was reading Joan Ryan’s book Intangibles about team chemistry in sports. Whether discussing groups of school alumni, high-performing athletic teams, or quirky family members, the reality is that even if you prefer not to be categorized or labeled, it happens. Personally, my preference is to focus on the positive aspects of how we can utilize classifications to aid us in developing a Habit of Awareness to enrich the relationships in our lives, but I do grasp that for some people, a label can feel limiting and biased rather than helpful.

As my mind wanders to thoughts about archetypes, stereotypes, and group dynamics, I fondly recall humorous ways these issues have been portrayed in media, whether it was George Clooney’s guidance on how to categorize travelers to move quickly through the airport security line in the movie Up in the Air, to the descriptions of the typical characters one finds during a travel tour as represented in My Life in Ruins, or any recent educator’s explanation for different types of mask-wearers or Zoom participants. Humorous interpretations of the people in our lives can allow us to laugh over shared experiences, which is one of the characteristics that Ryan shares can lead to a sense of belonging and team chemistry.

Often, I stumble across a meme or video describing my Enneagram style and laugh out loud and say, “Nailed it!” Assessment tools may not be for everyone, but I find them both informative and funny! However, when I weigh both the strengths and weaknesses of a specific type, especially my own, I admit to sometimes wondering how those within my sphere of influence might describe me. And especially when viewed through the lens of my faith, am I fulfilling my responsibilities to establishing Eulogy Virtues that point to my Creator and Lord? Perhaps, I’d rather not be that introspective, but if Joan Ryan has me considering which archetype I might be on a sport’s team, how much more significant is it to question my archetype for the most important relationships in my life?

From her extensive experience in sports, Ryan outlines seven archetypes she believes exist on athletic teams, typically seen in a baseball clubhouse or a locker room, and the importance each role has in the development of team chemistry; however, when she describes one particular NBA player, she uses the descriptor Exemplar of Selflessness. Wow, just wow! Who wouldn’t desire to be characterized this way, whether someone is discussing your demeanor on a basketball court, your contributions as an employee, or your approach to the relationships in your life?

The reality is that I really don’t have to look all that far to locate the best example of an Exemplar of Selflessness, and He’s not a modern-day athlete, but a humble man found in the pages of Scripture. Let’s see how the coach’s description of a talented basketball player compares to what we know about our Exemplar…”[He] is all seven [archetypes]: the Kid who plays with joy, the Buddy who hangs out with the second-stringers, the Warrior who intimidates, the Sparkplug who electrifies, and when necessary, the Enforcer, the Sage, and even the Jester. Like every Super-Carrier, he is an [E]xemplar of [S]elflessness.” This narrative of an Exemplar of Selflessness should be the bar we are all striving for, yet, every day, I know I fall short.

But here’s something for me to ponder, and perhaps, it might reverberate with you…as long as there is breath in my lungs, I can choose to be intentional about developing the Habits of a Flourishing Life that might lead me to become an Exemplar of Selflessness. Deep in my heart, I am fully aware that striving to be like my Savior will create a more abundant life, even if I never achieve my goal. The process itself, of attempting to become an Exemplar of Selflessness, will enrich my life in ways that I cannot even fathom.

Perhaps there currently exists someone in your life that you would describe as an Exemplar of Selflessness. Would you be willing to share in the comments below specific ways that this virtue is modeled in their life?

References:

Petrie, D. (2009). My Life in Ruins. [Film]. 26 Films.

Reitman, J. (2009). Up in the Air [Film]. Paramount Pictures.

Ryan, J. (2020). Intangibles: Unlocking the science and soul of team chemistry. Little, Brown and Company.