Have you ever experienced the pain of having your toes stepped on? It’s not like stepping on a Lego block or stubbing your toe on a piece of furniture, but the experience does have a tendency to bring a bit of pain with it that is preferable to avoid. And then there is the added issue that it was likely caused by another person. It’s very difficult to step on your own toes, although I’m sure there are some people who have managed to find a way! Hopefully, the perpetrator offers some sign of remorse such as, “I’m so sorry! Please forgive me.” However, today, I want to discuss moments when Stepped-On Toes do not come with an apology, rather they appear with a challenge.

For me, this week has contained numerous Stepped-On Toes moments, beginning with the reading of a few chapters of Recovering Redemption by Matt Chandler and Michael Snetzer while on campus administering a test; and continuing through phone conversations with friends. And none of these moments came with an apology. Perhaps I am alone with my opinion, but I don’t imagine God offering an “I’m Sorry” when He steps on my toes because when I experience Stepped-On Toes related to my faith, He is offering a challenge for me to Be Still, to notice and to carefully listen to what He is communicating to me through the words of others.

If God is stepping on your toes right now, like He is with me, accept the challenge He is offering to conduct an Archeological Dig of self-discovery. Author Mark Batterson offers, “It takes a long time to uncover the hidden treasures that lie buried beneath the surface. You can never be certain of what you will find or where you will find it. And it is a painstaking process. But the failure to dig deep will result in a superficial life.” When I experience Stepped-On Toes, it usually means that God is asking me to embrace the Habits of Awareness, Deep Work, and Growth so that my desires and ambitions begin to align with His. And He offers no apology for requesting that I engage in this deep work.

In fact, because He loves me so, He also never hesitates to allow others to step on my toes either. Ideally, this comes in the form of a loving reminder in the midst of a conversation with someone who knows you well and desires for you to have a flourishing life as Richella Parham shares in Mythical Me. “We must get close enough to know one another’s strengths and weaknesses, close enough in spirit to establish a deep bond, and close enough in proximity to step on one another’s toes and learn to forgive each other.” When we seek God’s guidance, especially together in community with others (whether as a posse, tribe, or o’hana), we are growing in spiritual maturity and moving towards becoming the person He created us to be.

Without experiencing Stepped-On Toes, we may, as Batterson says, “live as strangers to ourselves…because we’re afraid of what we’ll find if we start digging. We don’t really want to see ourselves for who we are. But if we can dig deeper than our fallen natures, we’ll find the truth that lies buried beneath our sin: the image of God. We’ll find our true identities. And our true destinies as well.” Without the pain of Stepped-On Toes, we may never know the abundant life that He has designed just for us. So, I encourage all of us to accept the struggle because as Chandler and Snetzer offer, “…there’s a reason why the pain points of wrestling with your sins and fears are so troubling and upsetting to you. And you ought not despise these difficult experiences that tug on your heart and ache to the core. Because God’s the one who’s doing it. God’s the one who knows you’ll never be whole if the only solution He ever implements in your life is just pruning back the bad behavior.”

Stepped-On Toes can lead to transformation that only God can create; however, we must engage in the hard and difficult work too. We must surrender our will, listen as He speaks to our souls, and allow Him to use the presence of the Spirit to change us from the inside out. I’m finding on this journey to a flourishing life that God uses Strange Gifts, sometimes strange people, and definitely strange methods to speak to my heart; but through the heart-work of others, whether in the form of phone conversations or reading, God is asking me to embrace the change He hopes occurs through Stepped-On Toes.

Any Stepped-On Toes moments you would like to share with us? Please feel free to comment below.

References:

Batterson, M. (2011). Soulprint: Discovering your divine destiny. Multnomah Books.

Chandler, M. & Snetzer, M. (2014). Recovering redemption: A gospel-saturated perspective on how to change. B&H Publishing.

Parham, R.J. (2019). Mythical me: Finding freedom from constant comparison. IVP Books.