“Do you want to swim with the sharks?” Not a question I face every day and one I certainly didn’t expect to hear from John David as I neared the University technology booth at the health and benefits fair. But as John David stated, “I’ve seen photos of you swimming with dolphins, it’s now time for sharks!” Having never engaged with a virtual reality headset, I thought I would give it a try, and it was a pretty amazing experience, especially when they switched me to swimming with sea turtles instead—much more calming than the great white biting the cage. After propelling myself through the coral reefs and the crystal water, I was better able to see why my friend Christie enjoys taking a Deep Dive in exotic places such as the Great Barrier Reef. I cannot fathom the beauty of experiencing God’s underwater creation in real life that way!

After enjoying the Deep Dive experience that morning, I found it ironic that just a few hours later, while reading Made for Friendship by Drew Hunter, he mirrored the day’s Deep Dive theme when discussing friendship. “Most of what we call friendship is little more than acquaintanceship. But acquaintanceship is to friendship what snorkeling is to deep-sea diving. Snorkeling is fine but skimming along the surface isn’t exploring the deep.” Being deeply grateful that the majority of my friendships were formed through face-to-face interaction rather than over the internet, I do sometimes wonder whether my students are experiencing the Deep Dive of true friendship or are they settling for acquaintanceships. I have had many years to navigate the difference between news-sports-weather relationships and those that embody something deeper. I have my posse and I am forever grateful for each and every member for they have entered the deep with me!

Hunter continues the Deep Dive metaphor, “We often float on the surface of our conversations, sharing little more than the most general details of our lives. We note our plans for the day, share a few interesting (or uninteresting) details about our week, offer a few sports or political opinions. But we don’t share the climate of our souls. We don’t share our struggles with sin. We don’t share our experiences of spiritual renewal or admit that we’re sitting in a season of darkness. No one knows when our soul feels spiritually chilly. Nor are most of us adept at drawing out others in these ways.” Now, please don’t think that Hunter is suggesting that we share all of these things with everyone we come in contact with, but he does emphasize the role that true friendship plays in our lives, especially as it connects to how God designed friendship to be. “According to the Bible, friendship is an essential ingredient of the [flourishing] life…According to Jesus, the topic of friendship should take us to the heart of the meaning of the cross, history, and love.”

Pondering why we sometimes hesitate to take a Deep Dive into friendships, much less dare to use the word love when referring to our friends, I agree with Hunter’s assessment of three aspects of modern culture that “create unique barriers to deep relationships: busyness, technology, and mobility.” Since most of the research covering Emerging Generations consistently mentions these same concerns, perhaps it’s time we pay closer attention to the ways modern culture, specifically technology, is redefining friendship and offer wise guidance to those within our sphere of influence to consider instead a biblical one. Beginning in the pages of Genesis, God shows us that “friendship is indispensable. Why? Because we are made in the image of God who eternally exists as a triune fellowship of love…God embedded friendship in our DNA…flourishing requires friendship.”

Throughout Scripture we are provided Godly examples of friendship from Ruth and Naomi, David and Jonathan, and then to Jesus with the disciples. True friendship, those relationships where people were willing to Dive Deep, echoes throughout God’s story. Personally, I am grateful to have many circles of friends—from my posse who knows my secrets to colleagues who support my professional life—all of which God places in my life as an example of His love. However, I am most grateful for my Great Friend, who has chosen to Dive Deep for me, and his name is Jesus, the One who will be with me for every step of life’s journey.

“Each one of us will eventually step into our final week… And we won’t wish we put in more hours at work. We won’t wish we took more extravagant vacations. We won’t wish we spent more time staring at a screen. But we will wish we spent more time with our friends.” And my friends, I hope more than anything, that you have taken a Deep Dive and are walking with the Great Friend. “Our great companion will remain with us, at our side, walking with us through death’s corridor. In our life, we walk with Jesus one step after another. In our death, we take just one more step with him—a hard step, but one we don’t have to take alone.”

If you have any examples of true friendship, of those who have taken the Deep Dive with you, will you consider sharing this story in the comments below?

Reference:

Hunter, D. (2018).  Made for friendship: The relationship that halves our sorrows and doubles our joys. Crossway.