“To thine own self be true.” Most of us find this a familiar phrase since it would be difficult to receive any education in the United States without an introduction to Shakespeare’s Hamlet. While, yes, I do agree self-care is an important part of cultivating well-being and living a flourishing life, today’s culture might be investing a little too much time in the self category of the Habit of Awareness. With an emphasis on individualism rather than community, we may distort the importance of self over that of others, including a relationship with God. However, we cannot ignore that knowing ourselves, like our personalities, our spiritual gifts, and working styles, provides relevant knowledge we need to maintain and cultivate healthy relationships.

But here is where I am considering making a shift from the Habit of Awareness, as described in early posts, to a Habit of Attentiveness, after reading Leighton Ford’s book entitled The Attentive Life. Ford offers, “This book is about attentiveness, not simply as a path to self-fulfillment but as the very essence of our journey to the Center-as the way home to our own heart, the way of making our heart a home for God. So, I am writing for myself, to identify waymarks for my own second journey but also for others who are walking the path with Christ, or searching for the path to Christ, so we may walk it together.” Not only does Ford recognize the importance of an inward focus to learn about yourself, like Brian Hosner shares in How to Find Yourself, he emphasizes the vitality of also looking outward to spending the hours of the day (or Season of Life) with an Attentiveness to God. Ford encourages cultivating a Habit of Attentiveness by intentionally focusing your thoughts at specific times of the day through prayer (as shared in Perfect Timing).

Ford goes on to explain the challenges of Attentiveness in a world so full of distractions in the digital culture in which we now live. “Attentiveness means respecting, attending to, waiting on, looking at and listening to the other-the person and things that we encounter-for what they are in themselves, not what we can make of them. We are called to pay attention to the Other-our Creator God-to know and worship him. Paradoxically, attentiveness may be just the opposite of ‘fixing our attention.’ Instead it involves a letting go of our usual need to control, an opening of ourselves to what we are being told or shown.”

To be honest, I’m not always open to what God is trying to show me. Many times, I fail to Pay Attention to what He is asking me to do because I would rather binge-watch a police drama or find a new travel destination to visit. Nonetheless, if I truly desire to cultivate a flourishing life, then developing a Habit of Attentiveness is a requirement, and developing the qualities of Attentiveness which Ford outlines is crucial: being fully present in the moment, looking long enough, looking freshly at what is familiar, being available, becoming aware, waiting with expectancy, being mindful, and being awake. We are equipped to hone these qualities by being attentive to the hours, the seasons, and the people in our life.

Nourishing qualities that move us into something deeper than finding ourselves, moving us into considering things outside of ourselves, we are granted a gift that is so much more than just a passing fad. Ford considers, “’Finding myself’ is one of the catchphrases of pop psychology. Yet the desire to know ourselves truly is more than passing fad. It has roots deep in ancient wisdom and the truth of creation, in the desire of the Creator that each created thing and person may, in being true to its own nature, fulfill God’s creative intent.”

I don’t know where you are on your pilgrimage through life. You may be at the beginning, an Emerging Adult, heading out into life building a career and a family. You may be at middle age like me or anticipating that you are approaching the finish line. But no matter where you may be, God asks us to remain Attentive to Him and others as we navigate life. Ford describes this desire well, “Like the psalmist, I desire not only to gaze on God’s beauty in heaven but to catch transforming glimpses here and now. I desire to become all that God created me to be. I desire to live each moment as a human fully alive and redeemed…I desire to know fully and to be fully known…I desire the clarity and centeredness that are marks of heaven…I desire to be part of what will bring joy and glory to the Creator…I desire to have a home for God in my heart and to come home each day, each hour, from now to eternity. I desire to look with more and more attention until that longing for home becomes reality.”

Are there aspects of life currently begging for your Attentiveness? What strategies or habits do you find helpful in removing distractions and that offer you opportunities to engage your attention to things that truly matter? Please consider sharing your thoughts in the comments below.

References:

Ford, L. (2008). The attentive life: discerning god’s presence in all things (Ser. Formatio). IVP Books.

Rosner, B. (2022). How to find yourself: Why looking inward is not the answer. Crossway.