Conducting a quick search through both previous posts and as-yet-unpublished posts, I can confidently share that I am a consistent human being. If I share an annoyance or a struggle, it typically appears repeatedly in various iterations, so perhaps the post Whine or Worship sufficiently covered this topic; however, a recent reading, combined with an encounter with a one-year-old, forced me to face how often I reflect a Whiny Disposition rather than a grateful one.

This one-year-old began crying upon his birth and has not stopped since. I have never in my life witnessed a child that goes from giggling to crying in the same breath. He’s exhausting…and I get to come home, his poor parents do not! Recently, as we struggled to figure out what he needed as he cried, I offered a pitiful reassurance with a comment such as “When he can use words and communicate, maybe he won’t cry so much.” His mom, in a half laugh/half cry herself replied, “He doesn’t even know what he wants, so how can he tell me!” That experience made me reflect on how many times I offer a Whiny Disposition to God because I don’t know what I want.

Or perhaps…I know what I want but it’s not aligned with my God-Given Space. As a middle-class, educated, and independent woman, it is easy to slip into a self-sufficiency mindset, what some people refer to as the American Dream, and fail to come to the End of Me. Life’s trajectory would follow along some variation of the following path: graduate high school, college, marriage, job, kids, grandkids, retirement, etc. Joseph Bankard shares it this way, “One of the biggest obstacles to gratitude is self-sufficiency…It makes people feel weak. Whether pride or low self-esteem motives the desire for independence, nothing hinders gratitude more frequently…the doctrine of creation argues that everything that exists does so because of God. By revealing our utter dependence on God, the doctrine of creation destroys the illusion of self-sufficiency and illuminates the path toward gratitude.” So, what is the opposite of a Grateful Disposition, a Whiny one; and when I express ingratitude in my life, I’m revealing a lack of Christian character, and acting no better than a one-year-old. Wow, does that sting!

Now fortunately, I serve a God of Divine Grace, and even though I have failed in my attempts to be Christ-like in cultivating a Grateful Disposition, He demonstrates the love of a parent, and patiently tries to work with me for an improved result. He reminds me, as Bankard shares, “to see the entirety of our lives as a gift. This includes our time, our talents, our treasure, and our families. We did not earn these good gifts. We do not deserve them. This should create a radical change in perspective.” This should shift us away from a Whiny Disposition and towards a Grateful one; therefore, “An appropriate response starts with a grateful heart…Divine Grace should evoke gratitude. And gratitude should [flourish] into acts of kindness, generosity, and thanksgiving.”

As I continue to embark on this journey to navigate a flourishing life, I am often, and repeatedly, reminded that the perspective, or mindset, that I choose has a significant impact on myself and those around me. Just as I don’t enjoy a whiny one-year-old, no one else enjoys one at 50-years old, so what if we commit together to work on cultivating virtuous dispositions, especially ones that exude gratitude and humility.

Self-reflection is not an enjoyable exercise; however, it can be beneficial. Has there been a time when you regret taking on a Whiny rather than a grateful disposition? Would you consider sharing your experience in the comments below?

Reference:

Peterson, G.R., Van Slyke, J.A., Spezio, M.L. & Reimer, K.S. (eds.) (2017). Habits in mind: Integrating theology, philosophy, and the cognitive science of virtue, emotion, and character formation. Brill.