When you’re on an extended journey, it is beneficial to see signposts along the route, encouraging you to continue on your way, guiding you to a particular destination. Whether that guidance comes in the form of a road map, a curriculum map, or other directions to follow, you find reassurance that someone else has already experienced this journey ahead of you. On this pilgrimage to comprehend what it means to cultivate a Flourishing Life, I find delight when I come across writings that serve as a signpost that others have wrestled with these troublesome concepts and can articulate ideas with clarity and transparency in a way that I cannot. Lisa Graham McMinn is currently providing signposts for me in her book Contented Souls, especially as she outlines the characteristics of a contented or Flourishing Life, and specifically, her description of Mellow-Hearted People.

Based on the descriptions McMinn outlines, I will offer that a flourishing person is Mellow-Hearted. Returning to the view of happiness held by the ancients rather than today’s reliance on current circumstances which fosters in us a Be Happy attitude, McMinn delves a bit deeper, moving from an attitude to a disposition. “Mellowness of heart is a way of being that is openly receptive to God so that our lives lean toward a posture of grace, thanksgiving, blessing and goodness… Mellowness of heart flows from trusting that we belong not to ourselves but to God, and that we are not entities that stand alone but are part of a whole that connects us to each other and to creation.”

Continuing further, McMinn cultivates the Habits of Growth and Resilience when she shares, “As we grow less preoccupied with ourselves,” as we learn How to Die, “we are filled with wonder at the God who created us and all that surrounds us. We are souls with an identity in God, not autonomous selves, and our life’s meaning transcends gratifying ourselves. As we grasp this joyful reality, we become less self-conscious about our successes and failures, our popularity or lack of popularity. We see God in the hard times as well as in the good times. Perhaps we become able to laugh at a human predicament that includes defeat and sorrow, even as we cry.”

One of the things I appreciate greatly about McMinn’s narrative of a person who is Mellow-Hearted is that she doesn’t deny that we live a Paradoxical Life. “Mellowness of heart does not require us to deny pain, but it often calls us to look through the darkest circumstances of life to find joy…Humor gives us an alternative to expressing rage or despair as we live in a world never quite measuring up to our expectations… Mellow-Hearted People are paradoxical. They laugh and cry. They see the clouds and the silver linings and in the process see themselves, others and the earth as a flawed creation belonging to a loving and ever-present God. They are joyfully mindful of their obligations to others and to creation, and in their presence we become aware that we too are loved by God.”

As an Enneagram 5, I am fully aware that in times of stress, one of my fears, is that I will never be satisfied in life. As a result, I find it challenging when anyone, especially God says, “Trust Me!” But that is exactly what McMinn is describing as the disposition of Mellow-Hearted People. “The way through our fear is mellowness of heart, a receptivity to all of life. In it we find a gracious willingness to relinquish control, to take that which God sends or allows—not because it is good but because we trust that God works through all things to bring about goodness in the end… Being content does not mean we are satisfied. In fact, to be content is to know we will always be groaning this side of eternity. Yet when we believe that fullness will come, that there is more than this life, we live with contentment. Mellowness of heart gives us the strength to find joy, even when today disappoints, wounds and is full of injustice.”

I yearn, not only to be a Mellow-Hearted person, but a flourishing one too, with a Grateful Disposition, “[letting] go of the need for control and [looking] for the good that might come to us from the unexpected.” Do you know any Mellow-Hearted People? What do you see demonstrated in their disposition that exemplifies this sentiment? Please consider sharing in the comments below.

References:

Bennett, E. (2021). The thinker: Growing as an Enneagram 5 (60-day Enneagram devotional): Day 43. Whitaker House.

McMinn, L.G. (2006). The contented soul: The art of savoring life. IVP Books.