After 30 years in education, I would admit that I’ve heard my fair share of commencement speeches—some memorable, others not. There is often an underlying theme of something along the lines of “go out and conquer the world.” I even ask, that during a life calling assignment, my students listen to an excerpt from a fictional graduation speech from a television series. There is a great deal of wisdom integrated into these milestone moments if we’re listening; but it is Kyle Idleman’s mention of a graduation speech by Kyle Martin entitled The 16th Second that grabbed my attention while reading When Your Way Isn’t Working.
Because the timing of this reading coinciding with someone I dearly love’s personal journey to achieve the distinct honor of graduating first in his class, I couldn’t help but consider how Brady might feel in his own 16th Second. And as he prepares to offer his own perspective to graduates, what thoughts and advice might be rambling through Brady’s mind? His speech might not “go viral,” but it is an opportunity to share lessons learned and aspirations with his classmates.
Idleman shares, “Martin talked about the moment he realized he was in the running for valedictorian. The amount of work he had put in and the sacrifices he had made to receive this honor were huge…the assumption was that he was leading to a moment when he would make the point that all his hard work had paid off…[Instead]…Martin shared, ‘It’s so good, for about 15 seconds…15 seconds of being at the top of the pile of all accomplishments and it felt euphoric. But there must come a 16th Second…I felt nothing. I was shocked. This was a huge problem for me, and I needed to figure out why.’” What Martin goes on to share is that the connections he made to the people that helped shape him during this journey were more important than the actual outcome. And on the flip side, the relationships he did not invest in were also a reminder that how he spent his time mattered.
I offer that the lesson both Martin and Idleman want us to learn is that how we handle ourselves in the 16th Second matters, because we will all experience, likely many times, a 16th Second. We can learn, as Idleman shares, that what happens next may require incredible work and sacrifice, but it is the connections we make to the people on our journey that make the task worthwhile. Idleman uses Jesus’ final words with his disciples to share how we can approach those 16th Second moments in our lives.
“You may think that with his final words, Jesus will give [the disciples] a five-year plan that lays out the expectations and outlines the pace of productivity required to have maximum impact. Perhaps you expect him to hand out a task list along with a comprehensive strategy…At the very least, you assume Jesus will print out some sort of organizational chart that will give official job descriptions and best practices. Yet instead of focusing on production, Jesus prioritizes connection…if his followers would focus on staying connected with him, then production would come, but if they pursued production at the expense of connection, then it wouldn’t matter how hard they worked.”
All high-achieving, task-oriented people run the risk of having their production become more vital than their connections with others; however, Idleman’s point is that when we do not value People Over Production, we are not honoring Jesus’ plan. “In John 15, Jesus makes it clear it’s not production that leads to connection…It’s connection that empowers production in our lives.” Whether it’s a high school honor, a promotion, or tenure, be sure to celebrate those milestones, but let’s adhere to the advice of that wise valedictorian, “Working hard is good. It is in fact biblical. But it should not be done for the sole purpose of a goal at the expense of relationships with others. Looking back on this year, I realized that the stress of this year for this goal in a five-minute speech was paid for with the lack of attending to relationships in my life…Relationships are where we get to influence, impact, and change people’s lives.”
So, for the 16th Second and beyond, what relationships can we cultivate? What purpose is God asking us to fulfill in this world? How can we prioritize People Over Production/Plans/Projects/Property? Cultivating a Habit of Attentiveness to our own motivations is a challenging objective, but to live a truly flourishing life, self-reflection is necessary. And when we align our priorities and goals with Scripture, when we discover our God-Given Space, the connections we make become our avenue to live out the Great Commandment to love God and our neighbors.
References:
Idleman, K. (2023). When your way isn’t working: Finding purpose and contentment through deep connection with Jesus. Zondervan.
Martin, K. (2019). The 16th Second. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIamZaWHzB0
Flourishing @ Life 