With over 700 random phrases/ideas for blog posts filling journals and the computer, it is not unusual for writing to occur anywhere from 1-4 months ahead of when the blogs actually post. Some ideas need time to simmer and connect with other concepts, others come more quickly, but because of the delay, it’s often interesting to compare and contrast life circumstances between writing and publishing. And I don’t find it coincidental when phrases and specific wording appear more than once, instead I experience an internal stirring that could only come from our Creator God, with His perfect timing.

In a particularly Tough Season of adulting, in the time span of one week, three different resources all pointed in one way or another towards the topic of bitterness. The first occurrence was when T.D. Jake’s Let It Go became available to read after being on hold for several months; the second was Levi Lusko’s The Wonderful Cross series, and the third incidence came when my parent’s pastor, Roland Smith, shared a message entitled “Ahithophel…A Case Study in Bitterness” on Sunday. Coincidence? I think not! And if you don’t want to read how I am Respectfully Mystified by how God connects events in my life, you can choose the TL;DR option and bail now, no one will know. Otherwise, keep reading and consider sharing your thoughts in the comments below about how God allows a choice in life to be Bitter or Better when circumstances do not go the way we plan.

Smith provides us a definition for bitterness in that it “is an unresolved violation of your justice system which can go two ways: horizontally where you have a problem with people involved, or vertically where you have a real problem with God.” Reminding us of how Scripture can be applied to our daily life, Roland shares Ephesians 4:32, “…be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you” (NLT). So, what is God’s answer to becoming Bitter or Better? It’s to look at a picture of the cross and to practice the virtue of forgiving.

Jakes, too, addresses the idea of bitterness that can occur when we learn “that life is not fair, that it doesn’t yield to our wishes, and that faith without a lot of hard work can be excruciatingly disappointing…each of us learns, adapts, and adjusts to facing life in the wake of our personal disappointments, private losses, and public fiascoes.” Not shying away from the realities of life, Jakes recognizes how easily “Bitterness leaches into the groundwater of our soul, slowly permeating our entire being.” And do you know what his advice is? To engage in self-reflection, cultivate a Habit of Attentiveness, make an honest assessment of what we might be carrying at this moment, and Let It Go. Jakes adds, “When we do not embrace forgiveness as the key to our freedom, our little ideas will always poison our bigger opportunities for new thought, honest dialogue, and solution-oriented discussion.”

Lusko continues this theme of how to embrace life in a way that allows us to become Better rather than Bitter as he encourages anyone who might feel hopeless because of an injury, because of a loss, because of some pain or grief, to remember that It Ain’t Over. Instead, he offers “three things you gotta do…Show Up, Step Forward, and Stretch Out.” Just Show Up to where God is asking you to be, especially to moments that allow you to connect with Jesus, forgiving those around you, and experience His presence. Step Forward in faith whether that is to accept Jesus as a personal Savior, to answer God’s calling on your life, respond to where He’s asking you to go, or to ask someone to forgive you. And finally, Stretch Out, because God is likely to ask you to do some things outside of your comfort zone, especially when it comes to forgiveness.

Three wise pastors share that It’s a Choice we all have as to whether we will become Bitter or Better. Recommending a hopeful approach that involves forgiveness is their recommendation, but it’s not always the easier option. It’s often easier to allow the Weeds of Ingratitude and the Weeds of Bitterness to grow unchecked in our lives, but I encourage all of us to take the Better route. I don’t think we’ll regret it later! Has there been a time when you were forced to make a choice between becoming Bitter or Better? If you would be willing to share in the comments below, we’d be honored to hear your story.

References:

Jakes, T.D. (2012). Let it go: Forgive so you can be forgiven. Atria Books.

Lusko, L. (2024, March 11). I can’t handle this. The wonderful cross, part 3. Fresh Life Church. Retrieved from https://freshlife.church/messages/i-cant-handle-this/

Smith, R. (2024, March 10). Ahithophel…A case study on bitterness. [Video]. Central Baptist Church, Crossville, TN. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUSNX9ai1TQ