For viewers of the 1990s sitcom Friends, Joey Tribbiani altered lives forever with his phrase, “How You Doin?” According to Adrienne Tyler, “Joey shared his ‘foolproof’ technique, in which he would look a woman up and down and say ‘how you doin?’ Rachel and Phoebe were skeptical, but when he tried it on Pheobe, she couldn’t help but giggle… the catchphrase arrived in season 4 and wasn’t even used much. This only shows the power of Joey’s pickup line, because even though it isn’t entirely foolproof, it truly is an unforgettable one.”

Although I was not in need of a pickup line, How You Doin? did enter my thoughts as I was navigating the best way to check in on the health and well-being of my CSKLS colleagues. During our recent annual conference, Val offered some excellent advice for a check in with mentees using a graphic/timeline that provides a quick glimpse into how they might be doing. Is life going smoothly for them or is there a need for a deep conversation? Contemplating a 1-10 scale or some other numerical, none of these options felt fitting, so I utilized an existing flourishing scale by Marianne deKleer, but it led me to consider creative ways people might ask and answer the How You Doin? question.

So now you have the opportunity to participate in this Flourishing at Life journey by helping me create a scale (categories) with witty, creative, and sassy answers. Since no light bulbs popped up cartoon-style over my head, I chose to do what we all do today when curious about a topic, I entered the world of artificial intelligence to see what it had to suggest. The first few responses offered imaginative options such as using terms related to specific topics: weather, GPS, internet connections, and so on, but I have yet to land on the most suitable descriptors for the categories. To jumpstart this discussion, consider the most creative answers you’ve heard to the inquiry, “How you doin?”

The purpose of going down this rabbit hole is twofold: first, I truly am seeking a quick way to check in on others and how life is going, thus, the need for a flourishing scale; and second, I desire that when I offer a “How You Doin?” to others, it’s more than a mere greeting. I want to remove the haziness of is this a polite question or do you really want to know? If these words spill out of my mouth, it is a genuine effort at Appreciative Inquiry, it’s a sincere desire to know how life is going for you. To prevent the question from turning into just a greeting, I try to use other phrases like “Good morning.” I even like the phrase “Good day!” so I don’t have to think about whether it is indeed still morning. However, lacking the Australian accent means it just falls a little flat. One non-verbal greeting that I really treasured the other day from a stranger at the park was a hand over the heart. I believe this is an Arab greeting, so it may not be appropriate for me to use, but it really stood out.

So, there are two opportunities here for you to assist me: one, you can offer a category with six suggestions that range from not doing well at all to amazingly happy (the Flourishing Continuum might help you begin), or two, offer answers to How You Doin? that would really throw people off and force them to truly consider your answer. (Fine as frog’s hair was one of AI’s suggestions, if you need some assistance).

So, get those creative juices going, I await on pins and needles for you to reply in the comments below. Let’s see if we can collectively develop a fun and creative scale!

References:

deKleer, M. (2024). How to thrive and flourish. [Blog post]. Retrieved from https://www.mariannedekleer.com/blog/how-to-thrive-and-flourish/

Tyler, A. (2020, November 12). Friends: Joey’s “How you Doin’? catchphrase started later than you think. ScreenRant. Retrieved from https://screenrant.com/friends-show-joey-how-doing-catchphrase-season-4/#:~:text=Joey%20had%20his%20own%20techniques%20to%20approach%20a,in%20the%20episode%20%E2%80%9CThe%20One%20With%20Rachel%E2%80%99s%20Crush%E2%80%9D

Warner Bros. TV (2022, August 10). Joey’s best “How you doin?’ moments | Friends. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLvXFVbb82Q