Listen, Love, Repeat

Relishing the reading of many great authors in the journey to define and explain relational equity and its importance to personal and professional success, some reoccurring themes have emerged over the last few months. Previously under the impression that it might be worthwhile to blend these thoughts into one summary post, I am now recalculating the plans for that quick interstate journey and have decided to take the scenic route for a more in-depth experience on the theme of being others-centered because, in my opinion, it is a vital component to creating relational equity and being obedient to the calling of following Christ.

Coming to the first destination on this journey is a book entitled Listen, Love, Repeat by Karen Ehman, where we are challenged to recognize and pay attention to what is occurring in the lives of those around us. Ehman shares, “Although we may interact with others daily as we carry out our responsibilities, rarely do we pay attention to what is really going on in the lives of those around us. Because near-narcissism and the too-busy lifestyle is the normal default, to become a person who thinks of others first takes great effort on our part.” Ehman challenges us to pay attention for a heart drop which is “when a person either directly or in a cryptic way, gives you a peek into his or her heart. It may be through actual words, or you may pick up on a feeling, perhaps sadness or loneliness.” Imagine if we chose to live life in expectation of heart drops, cultivating our ears to be in a habit of listening rather than telling.

In addition to living in expectation for heart drops, we are challenged to exist, as Ehman describes, to “living alert” because we are here on this earth for only two reasons which are to have a relationship with God and to point others to Jesus. Outlining four approaches one can embrace to shift from a self-obsessed culture to one that is others-centered and living alert, Ehman recommends: (1) pray and ask Jesus for a humble servant’s heart; (2) use alone time for preparation (read a post about rest here); (3) live with eyes and ears wide open; and (4) to focus on the face in front of us, not on our phones (or wrists).

Emphasizing that nothing in life matters more than the relational equity we create, Ehman offers an insightful prayer:

Father, tune my ears to the heart drops all around me. I want to begin to live alert-to be ever on the lookout for where I might serve you by loving and serving others. Give me eyes to see the needy, ears to hear the hurting, a smile to encourage the weary, and hands ready to help those who need it. I want to be sensitive to the times you gently tap me on the heart, urging me to put love into action. May I willingly share my home, my food, my resources, and my time with whomever you send my way. When people look at me, may they instead see only you. Thank you in advance for the joy that comes from serving. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Learning to live this way is not our natural default and is one of the reasons I want to encourage all of us to invest in the lives of others, to mentor, guide, and coach, because life is hard and we need the community of others to flourish. “God works in community. His plan is for people to be in relationship with each other.” In the next few posts, we will be challenged to live a listening life and to inquire humbly in addition to expecting heart drops and living alert. Consider how differently this culture could be if we took the time to scatter kindness.

So, the challenge is to love our posse (our inner circle), to listen to those around us (weak and strong ties), and to find opportunities to share kindness with others. Is there someone in your life who models this others-centered concept well? Please share in the comments below.