As discussed in the post Respectfully Mystified, God’s unique ways of connecting ideas and people leave me befuddled at times. In addition to the experiences mentioned in the previous post, on a summer West Jackson trip to Calgary, he mysteriously associated two concepts that previously would have never been linked in my mind. After spending a few days with church planters associated with the Tapestry Church, our group was sharing observations in a team meeting. Sharing my reflections on what I viewed as the importance of just living life side by side people in order to share Christ, a simple smile alighted on Bethany’s face. Afterwards, Bethany revealed the book she was reading entitled The Art of Neighboring and the similarities between what we both had witnessed in Calgary.

What Bethany could not have imagined when she loaned me her copy was the connection God was going to make between the qualities of being a good neighbor and the traits of effective mentoring. Throughout my notes on the book, I would substitute mentor for neighbor, because in the end, it really boils down to loving others whether the setting is on a city block or a business office.

So, let’s unpack, now and in future postings, how we are called to be good neighbors and the importance that hospitality plays in our lives as Christ followers. Here, I will return to the concept of creating relational equity because emphasized again and again in the research is the importance that relationship plays in all areas of our lives both personally and professionally. Pathack and Runyon disclose in The Art of Neighboring that building genuine relationships right outside your door is the key to living out the Great Commandment.

Throughout their book, Pathack and Runyon emphasize the process of developing genuine relationships in our neighbors, whether this is defined by a zip code or people we interact with on a regular basis. “By becoming good neighbors, we become who we’re supposed to be. As a result, our communities become the place that God intended them to be.” And it’s important to remember that these relationships are not going to happen overnight, it is a process where strangers become acquaintances and begin “paving the way for genuine relationships.” For me, the similarities emerge to Tommy Spaulding’s Five Floors of Relationships as we recognize the various levels of relationships we have and the role they play in our day-to-day lives.

One of the common themes emerging on this journey into creating relational equity so that we help others to flourish in their lives is the concept of reducing our hurry. Author John Ortberg shares his term of hurry sickness. “Love and hurry are fundamentally incompatible. Love always takes time, and time is the one thing hurried people don’t have.” If we desire to live out the Great Commandment by loving our neighbors, it will require an investment on our part. So, whether we are entering from the perspective of neighbor or mentor, we are called to unhurry, invest time in others, and to be hospitable to those around us.

“Being a good neighbor [mentor] simply means slowing down and being aware of what he [God] is designing. By developing real relationships, you’ll find out how God is already moving in a person’s life. You’ll begin to overcome the fear that you once had and develop trust for one another.” This relationship can be accomplished by being consistent with small things. “The challenge is to simply make those small investments, stay in the game, and share your day-to-day life with those around you.”

“Great neighborhoods [mentoring] are built on reciprocal relationships, on two-way streets. At the end of the day, no one wants to feel like a project. We want to feel we bring something to the table. But when it comes to neighboring [mentoring] well, one of the biggest temptations is to turn neighbors [mentees] into projects.” The training implemented by the Office of University Ministries prior to GO trips emphasizes this concept well, and how vital it is to love people where they are with a genuine desire to create a relationship.

As we continue this conversation on being a good neighbor/mentor and specific ways to accomplish this challenge, I ask for your perceptions on what it means to be a good neighbor. Please offer examples of when someone has demonstrated to you the important Art of Neighboring.