Spiritual Conversations

In the post entitled Courageous Conversations, I outlined four categories of courageous conversations that I believe are important to address especially when guiding the next generation. These four types were explained in that post but to recap, the four types are: tough conversations, empathetic conversations, lingering conversations, and spiritual conversations. Defining the first three previously, it is the fourth type, spiritual conversations, that I would like to tackle today.

The more research that I conduct on emerging generations, the more my interest is heightened as I see patterns from various authors related to the behaviors we are currently witnessing with Gen Z and the conduct that could materialize as this generation continues to mature. As adolescents move into their twenties, they are forming their identity separate from their family which also means searching deep into their spiritual beliefs. Research from organizations like the Barna Group, as shared in the books unChristian and Ready, Set, Go are finding that during this segment of the lifespan pilgrimage, many young adults are “skeptical of present-day Christianity” and are leaving the church.

With Gen Z choosing not to be a part of the Christian church, in all its varieties, what does this absence mean for spiritual conversations? And if “relationships are the driving force” for this generation as shared in unChristian, who is having the greatest influence on their decisions about faith? Authors Kinnaman, Lyons, and Barna share that the “purpose in writing this book is to pry open the hearts and minds of Christians, to prepare us to deal with a future where people will be increasingly hostile and skeptical toward us. A new generation is waiting for us to respond.” With a generation of young people so skeptical about Christianity, how do we “engage non-Christians and point them to Jesus?” First, we must “understand and approach them based on what they really think, not what we assume about them.”

So, if Gen Z is skeptical, and Christians “fear giving offense or being rejected” as a “primary barrier for talking about their faith” as explained in Don Everts’ The Reluctant Witness, when and where will spiritual conversations take place? As a reminder, “a ‘spiritual conversation’ is defined as any conversation about spiritual or faith matters (including doubts) with anyone. This would include talking about Jesus with a non-Christian friend but would also include talking about the sermon you just heard with your spouse.” Everts shares that “74 percent of us are having fewer than ten spiritual conversations in a year. We are what researchers characterize as ‘reluctant conversationalists.’”

In order to move away from reluctancy and towards an eagerness to have spiritual conversations, we might need to focus on the regular people in our lives, those with whom we have created relational equity. Rather than assuming that spiritual conversations only take place “in special places (a church, a remote retreat center, someplace where sunbeams are reaching down from heaven), during special moments (a life crisis, an epiphany, when life is at its darkest), and by special people (a pastor, a priest, some Christian who is especially gifted and trained for such conversations),” a shift to love our neighbors, as outlined in the post entitled Are You a Good Neighbor?, might be a wiser place to start. “Not only are Christians called to ‘love our neighbors,’ but developing trusting friendships with our neighbors is an important precondition for having spiritual conversations. We have to gain a hearing before being able to share our faith.”  

Once we develop a relationship with our neighbor (coworker, barista, massage therapist, cashier), then opportunities arise for all types of conversations and through humility and authenticity, you demonstrate what it means to “journey with them towards answers. In fact, the research indicates it is in the process, over time, that leads to people having fruitful spiritual conversations.” But one of the most important aspects we should never fail to forget is that “there aren’t just two people involved when a Christian has a spiritual conversation-God himself is present.”

As you invest time in a period of reflection where you consider some of your conversations with others, my hope is that you will feel as uncomfortable as I do. I hope that you will answer the nudge to pray for guidance on how you (and I) can best prepare for our next spiritual conversation. Whether that nudge has you exploring resources like the Five Thresholds by InterVarsity or creating habits that lead to a flourishing spiritual life, be encouraged to allow God moments. “A God moment is simply a moment where we see God actively at work in the people around us and sense God is opening a door for us to a part of his work in their life.”

Please feel free to share any thoughts in the comments section below.

10 thoughts on “Spiritual Conversations

  1. Unknown's avatar Anonymous

    Spiritual Conversations
    As more young people have begun to move away from Christianity, the amount of spiritual conversations that people are having with one another are dropping. Talking to anyone about spirituality can be classified as a spiritual conversation. A person does not have to be a Christian to speak with them on spiritual subjects. Even trying to figure things out would help bring the amount of conversations had. A person does not have to be someone who is extremely knowledgeable about their spiritual life either. People can be of other religions and just as easily be spoken to on spirituality.

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  2. Unknown's avatar Anonymous

    I feel like spiritual conversations are definitely not as common anymore. This is partially because people don’t think it’s “cool” to talk about their faith outside of a religious setting. Society has limited talking about faith to only churches and religious settings, which is sad to see. I feel that we as Christians need to get back to talking about our faith in non religious settings. Also, not worrying about what others might be thinking about us talking about it in a non religious setting.

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  3. JC Hawkins's avatar JC Hawkins

    I feel like spiritual conversations are definitely not as common anymore. This is partially because people don’t think it’s “cool” to talk about their faith outside of a religious setting. Society has limited talking about faith to only churches and religious settings, which is sad to see. I feel that we as Christians need to get back to talking about our faith in non religious settings. Also, not worrying about what others might be thinking about us talking about it in a non religious setting.

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  4. Unknown's avatar Gentry Wolfe

    Spiritual conversations are not near as common in an everyday conversation for a Gen Z. Sure you might see a paster of a church talking to a Gen Z about spiritual life but odds are the Gen Z did not bring up the topic. Spirituality has become a topic that is more offensive than most topics in the world. People today have become more “soft” and do not like to talk about reality and what is going to happen after this life is over. Everyone has different beliefs and seem to believe God is just too much of a “fantasy.” I have been to multiple church conferences, concerts, camps, etc. and I feel on fire for God and want to tell the whole world about Him, but then reality kicks in. It is easy to have a conversation about spirituality when the people involved are agreeing with you. This topic is one that needs to be added to modern-day conversations. This is something that will become a reality for everyone someday. Most people today do not like talking about deep, personal things and I believe that needs to change as soon as possible.

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  5. Unknown's avatar LiDonta Hicks-Gentry

    I feel like this is very true especially about being tough and spiritual conversations and I got 2 little brothers and I can tell they are not that tough as I kid I feel like I was a tough kid but them they dont show toughness they always be crying and stuff and especially when I play basketball and I go hard they want me to go easy and I be trying to tell them that it’s not going to be easy when you get my age people just not going to let you score. Also I feel like a lot kids really don’t understand when you talk to them spiritual because I had to learn myself I used to go to church and stuff but I realized in juco that I was nothing without Jesus and that I really needed him a lot and that’s when I decided to get baptized because I wouldn’t have made it through juco without him I feel like I needed that part of my life a lot because it opened my eyes the most and made me really realize if you just trust in God anything is possible!

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  6. LiDonta Hicks-Gentry's avatar LiDonta Hicks-Gentry

    I feel like kids now in days aren’t as tough because me and my little brothers will be in the driveway playing basketball and they will want me to go easy so they can get easy wins but I be trying to tell them that everything in life is not going to come easy and when you get my age it’s not going to be easy to get buckets. Also I feel like having spiritual conversations is great especially with younger kids because as a kid I was go to church with my grandparents but I really didn’t tap into my faith until like I was in juco because I was down at my low and I really needed Jesus and that’s when I got baptized and I feel like I needed that time JJ my life because it showed me that if I just trust in the lord that anything is possible!

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  7. Unknown's avatar Anonymous

    After reading this article, I find it easy to agree with the concept and lack of spiritual conversations among Generation Z. Being that I am of this generation, I can say that I myself do not engage in these conversations. I believe that it’s a shame for our generation to be scared of speaking to one another on religion and Christianity. And I may be wrong but I feel like in the past these conversations were discussed more often and casually. The problem with this generation is that we have become shallow and too worried about what others may think about our beliefs. People would perceive Christianity conversations to be “not cool” or “uncomfortable” with everyday friends. I believe that friendships would be closer and more worthy with a Christian background oriented.

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  8. Alec Hardin's avatar Alec Hardin

    After reading this article, it’s easy to agree with the lack of spiritual conversations within Generation Z. Being that I am of this generation, I can say that I don’t participate enough with this matter. I find it easy to have Christian conversations within my household but not around my friends. Unfortunately, my generation believes these conversations are “not cool’ or “uncomfortable” to be discussed with one another. I personally believe that friendships would be closer and meaningful with a Christian focus.

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