Since we’ve been conversing about conversations in previous posts, I could not omit relevant information from Todd Henry as he writes in Die Empty, which I read in 2017, and continue to return to again and again for the wisdom it provides when considering the qualities of a flourishing life. One of my hopes in creating this blog is that it will provide an avenue for conversations related to emerging adulthood, Gen Z, relationships, life calling, mentoring, and other topics as they arise, and although there haven’t been as many conversations as desired, I will continue to be hopeful that more are forthcoming. With that healthy optimism, let’s continue to converse about conversations.

Henry seems to share my concern over the lost art of quality conversation; however, he offers some interesting perspectives that are applicable to vocational settings but have relevance within personal relationships as well. Acknowledging a deficit, Henry shares, “Over the past few years, I’ve spent quite a bit of time with teams, walking them through how to have conversations about their most critical work. One would think that a skill as basic as talking to one another wouldn’t need special attention, but I’m often astounded at how little team members actually communicate beyond the bare essentials. Teams are often great about tasks and strategy, but abysmal at discussing the intangible factors that deeply affect their workflow.”

In the daunting task of preparing emerging adults for the workforce and life, Henry’s five conversations can be helpful in coaching future sport professionals (or anyone else) to be aware of important communication that they might need to initiate if their leaders do not. The Clarity Conversation is described first and is designed to “ensure that you have the information you need to do your work…Often, people are afraid to ask questions in order to clarify objectives…In order to be effective in your work, you must understand what it is you’re trying to do.” Modeling how to ask clarifying questions in a professional manner while learning in the classroom, professors can coach emerging adults to seek clearness on how their “projects align with the overall objectives of the organization.” For Gen Z, this sense of purpose is a key quality they are seeking in employment opportunities.

The Expectations Conversation simply encourages intentional communication by asking colleagues if “they know what you expect from them and when, and if they have questions about those expectations. Asking a simple, “What do you expect from me and am I falling short?” can open doors of communication to prevent communication gaps. “The Fear Conversation is all about shining light into dark, unspoken places and neutralizing fear where it lives.” With the anxiety shadowing Gen Z, alleviating their fears is a great trust builder and communicates empathy for them, not only as an employee, but as a person. A supervisor might use the question, “What are you afraid might happen, and why?” to prevent the escalation of irrational risks especially on creative tasks that are unproven. Currently, I’m pondering the best method for using this question with students in my classes.

Previous discussions related to Gen Z and postings on how to equip and engage this generation leads us to Henry’s fourth discussion, The Engagement Conversation. What inspires the members of this generation is likely to be linked to having a sense of purpose and changing the world for the better. Asking, “How do you feel about the work we are doing?” might “help you discover what others are noticing, reading, watching, or otherwise absorbing that’s firing them up.” To engage in a relationship with another human being, we must ask humble questions and then listen carefully to the answers provided. Acknowledging what a person values demonstrates that you value who God created them to be.

Lastly, there is the Final 10 Percent Conversation which is needed to “create a culture of transparent trust.” Similar to the rumble conversations that Brene Brown discusses in Dare to Lead, inspirational leaders “model this environment by asking people you trust to share what they see you doing that makes no sense to them.” Because of generational gaps between myself and the students I teach, I suspect the question “What’s something I’m doing that doesn’t make sense?” is asked fairly often from both sides of the table. I’m confounded by my students and they are perplexed by me.

A personal goal for the upcoming semester will be to find outlets to blend these conversations into our classroom, sometimes addressing the conversations themselves to prepare emerging adults for the workplace, but also to bring the understanding between two groups creating relational equity with each other. My hope is to alleviate fears, anxiety, and uncertainty about the future while modeling a professional way to seek the information they need to flourish in whatever future position they may hold.

Inviting conversation here…Can you provide any examples of Probing Conversations you have had in a professional setting where a leader coached you in understanding your vital role in the organization while building trust and relational equity? Please share in the comments below.