As someone who has never been employed in a medical profession, I’m unaccustomed to wearing a face mask or attempting to converse with someone who is. In fact, the few times I have made an attempt to chat through a mask, it was due to drywall dust or Teryn asking me questions about my teeth! But the COVID pandemic ushered us into a new reality of more than just medical professionals needing to wear PPE (personal protective equipment). From the attendants at fast-food drive restaurants to the service provider entering my home to check for termites, a mask was needed for protection; however, it also appears to me to be a Conversation Barrier.
Perhaps it will just take some time to adjust to this new normal and communicating through masks will become easier, but in my initial experiences, the barrier to seeing a person’s face reduces what may have been a conversation into just a mere transaction. Recognizing that this experience might be due to my lack of conversational skills (just read all the former posts related to me struggling with conversations) rather than a physical barrier, it still had me pondering if this new concept of mask-wearing in public was inhibiting the power of a conversation.
With information seeming to change daily with regards to how the virus is transmitted, each new morning brings new concerns. Even during social isolation, experts recommend that we continue to enjoy the outdoors (which is a Truly Essential activity for me), but how do we approach the exercise safely? With the increase of pedestrian traffic in Copper Creek, it becomes more of a challenge to remain the recommended six-foot distance apart and I certainly prefer that my sweat not infect! So, rather than a lingering conversation with a neighbor, it’s a smile, a wave, and a have-a-great day!
Even as terse as I can be with my words, I still consider myself to be friendly and enjoy becoming familiar with new neighbors, learning about their lives and their children; but I find that Conversation Barriers have been erected in ways I never imagined possible as a result of a pandemic. This experience has me questioning other ways in which I might build barriers to Being a Good Neighbor both to those who reside in Copper Creek and to others within my various communities. As I intentionally pursue the creation of a Habit of Awareness, I wonder how many other Conversation Barriers the Lord might open my eyes to see.
In efforts to eliminate Conversation Barriers in my life, I completed the KLLP Assessment that is introduced in Communication IQ to find solutions to improving my communication skills. The results indicate that as a High Contemplator, there are two essential communication qualities that I need to develop which are Connectedness and Closing the Gap. Even without providing further descriptions, do those not appear to be Conversation Barriers to you?
Kendall and Kendall share, “The first Essential Quality for the Contemplator to develop is Connectedness. Those who speak Contemplator can be self-sufficient or even loners with many interests, learning activities, and time spent thinking. Contemplators may not realize their need for relationships, but they will find life greatly enhanced by developing the skill to emotionally, personally, professionally, and socially connect with and relate to others.” Okay. Work on barrier #1, being a loner!
Now, let me brace myself for barrier #2! “The second Essential Quality for Contemplators to learn is to Close the Gap–the gap between thinking to feeling and acting. Those who speak Contemplator tend to live in their minds. They think before they show feelings or action. You can close these gaps by sending verbal and physical signals, for example, nod your head and say things like, ‘Let me think about this,’ rather than just thinking and not responding. You Close the Gap by becoming responsive to and acknowledging other people’s statements and being aware of your body language. This requires willingness and giving attention to others.”
So, now that I have been made aware of two Conversation Barriers that exist in my life, I will commit to challenge myself to develop these two essential qualities, masked or unmasked! Have you noticed ways, either as a result of creating a Habit of Awareness or due to cultural circumstances like a pandemic, particular attributes that make it difficult to engage in conversation with those around you? Please feel free to comment in the space below, whether it’s the lag time in a Zoom meeting or the specific way God created you, how you can reduce the Conversation Barriers in your life.
Reference:
Kendall, F. & Kendall, A. (2019). Communication IQ: A proven way to influence, lead, and motivate people (Life Languages). Whitaker House.
Flourishing @ Life 
I really do relate to this article because I have been working in the wellness center at Union for a few years now and I know that, as the first face that people see when they come in to workout, we always have to try to have an smile and welcome the members with fueled energy and an good vibe. Nowadays, with these unfortunate events, since we have to wear face masks people can’t see our faces so it might create a less energetic mood. But we could fix this by being outgoing and welcoming people to a good and fun environment.
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I strongly agree with this article. I recently wrapped up sorority recruitment from the disaffiliated side, so I spent countless hours with freshmen who were interested in going through the process. With the multiple social events we had, I discovered quickly that it was very hard to worm my way into a conversation with a stranger without having the rest of my face present in the conversation. I am a big user of facial expressions, as well as body language, so it was difficult for me to flash a smile and lead my way into a conversation. It also became difficult to read the emotions of the young women. With more talk of adapting to a society where it should be socially acceptable to wear a mask in cold/flu season, this could become a reoccurring thing.
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I very much relate with the details in this article. I even did not realize how much I relate to this until I started reading it and agreeing as I went along. I work as a Student Ambassador for Undergraduate Admissions, and I lead tours for perspective students and their families around campus. This has looked very different this year as their is a requirement for masks. I can usually feed off of the facial expressions of the people on my tour and try to correct my energy if they look disinterested. However, I can no longer do this as I cannot see past the masks. Additionally, it is very difficult to talk to a group all over campus in a masks especially when it is 90 degrees outside. I also love to smile and let the families know how glad I am that they are on campus, but with masks they cannot see my excitement. I have learned to have to be more verbal about my feelings and actually say how glad and excited I am that they are on campus. This has definitely been a new experience for me this year and something that i am not used to. However, I know that this is a time where we will all be learning something that God wants to teach us.
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Would you be willing to talk further about your experiences as an ambassador?
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Yes ma’am! What would you like to know?
Hayes Bell
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I agree with this article a lot because facial expressions can tell a lot in a conversation. You could be saying one thing, but your facial expressions could be telling another. Now having to wear the mask you can’t see that because it’s hidden. I’ve been here for 4 years now and I’ve seen a lot of faces in my time here, but this year has been odd because it’s a lot harder to recognize someone because of the mask.
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Dr. Powell,
I totally agree with you and love that you pointed out how face masks are conversation barriers. You took my exact thoughts and put it into words. My favorite part of this blog is when you mentioned wondering what other conversation barriers God will reveal to you. There are probably so many other obstacles that make us stop ourselves from having intentional conversations, but, especially now-a-days, we can lean on the mask for an excuse.
I am SO with you on Connectedness- barrier #1! I am very self-sufficient so sometimes I just like to keep to myself. Also, yes to closing the gap! I definitely believe there is a balance, as well. I am definitely more of a person to immediately give a response without thinking, rather than thinking before speaking. I need to be better about this and find a balance. Like your blog discussion said, even if it is responding with “Let me think about that for a second!”
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I could not agree more that facemasks have been such conversation barriers. We didn’t realize this until it actually happened, and we are learning how to engage with each other in different ways now. I have really noticed people start to ask what did you say more and ask questions because they cant understand what you said. All in all, we have to find ways to understand each other better, and i feel as though this is even more difficult for the older generation because of things such as hearing loss, so we have to consider things like body langauge and more.
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I could not agree more that facemasks have been such conversation barriers. We didn’t realize this until it actually happened, and we are learning how to engage with each other in different ways now. I have really noticed people start to ask what did you say more and ask questions because they cant understand what you said. All in all, we have to find ways to understand each other better, and i feel as though this is even more difficult for the older generation because of things such as hearing loss, so we have to consider things like body langauge and more.
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This is something I have experienced recently as I had to give my first presentation while wearing a mask. The experience was something I was not used to and trying to figure out what the correct volume to speak in was a new problem due to the mask. In addition, trying to fix ones mask while speaking due to how it wants to come off from ones mouth moving so much was also new. I can 100% agree that the mask is a conversation barrier as it makes it much more difficult to tell what people are thinking and harder to show emotion as well.
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The COVID-19 pandemic definitely opened up the issue of communication barriers. Prior to the pandemic, most barriers consisted of language or physical barriers, but once the pandemic started to calm down, we realized as a society the barriers each of us have. The ways our minds think can affect our ability to communicate. Many people struggled with the reintroduction into society after not needing to use social skills for an extended period of time. This really emphasized our need to look in at our hearts and determine what causes a communication barrier for us.
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