Regular visitors to this blog will be familiar with the concept of controlled floundering and the continuum that ranges from flourishing to failure; however, if this reading is your first visit to the blog, I encourage you to examine those ideas to provide a framework for this post on the Gift of Failure. Although Lahey’s focus in her book of the same title is on parenting, there are many moments when the word teacher/supervisor/mentor could be substituted for parent, because as Lahey states in reference to her daughter, “She has sacrificed her natural curiosity and love of learning at the altar of achievement, and it’s our fault. Her parents, her teachers, society at large—we are all implicated in this crime against learning. From her first day of school, we pointed her toward that altar and trained her to measure her progress toward that goal by means of points, scores, and awards.”
As a consequence of how adults approached caring for younger generations by providing an abundance of safety nets and trophies, we now have emerging adults whose anxiety is so high that they are unable to comprehend what a blessed gift floundering can be. So now, what actions should be taken in order to rectify the situation? Since my sphere of influence is higher education, I will replace Lahey’s parenting with the word teaching and continue to probe further into what some alternatives are. “What [teaching] practice can help our children acquire the skills, values, and virtues on which a positive sense of self is built? [Teaching] for autonomy. [Teaching] for independence and a sense of self, born out of real competence, not misguided confidence. [Teaching] for resilience in the face of mistakes and failures. [Teaching] for what is right and good in the final tally, not for what feels right and good in the moment. [Teaching] for tomorrow, not just for today.”
Lahey, a middle school teacher and parent, mirrors the design thinking approach outlined in Flourishing Thinking when she offers that the focus should increase the emphasis on intrinsic motivation and decrease the use of extrinsic rewards, especially when it comes to the subject of learning. Sharing her gratitude for educators who are attempting to make the shift, Lahey states, “Luckily, teachers all over the country are moving toward project-based learning, in which students create real world problems or questions and then figure out how to find answers themselves. Students define the scope, goals, and steps in the project, and therefore feel a real sense of ownership over the learning.”
Moving from the sage-on-the-stage to being a guide-on-the-side is not easily achieved as it creates more preparatory work on the part of the educator, but if research proves that project-based learning is the most useful approach for Gen Z, then we should be challenged to invest whatever time it takes. Recently, in an attempt to connect digital literacy to academic projects in a sport management course, librarians Savannah Patterson and Amber Wessies along with myself, ventured into designing a class activity that would demonstrate how to complete academic research to answer a fundraising dilemma. As students flounder, or even fail, at navigating the wealth of information available, we will be available to guide them through the struggle. The Gift of Failure during this process allows students to build their confidence for conducting appropriate research to find a solution to a real-world problem. Building essential life skills into the academic curriculum removes the assumption that all younger people know how to navigate technology in a manner consistent with the needs of their future professional world.
Being the first to admit my distaste for failure, I cannot argue that the Gift of Failure has taught me many tough lessons from relationship blunders to teaching snafus, in addition to failing to appropriately read the colored lines on a AAA map which led me down a gravel road through cowboy country in Southern Alberta that I had not planned to visit! Through life experience, we know that floundering can lead to flourishing, we usually just don’t appreciate the lessons at the time. Please feel free to share in the comments below a time when you were provided with the Gift of Failure.
Reference:
Flourishing @ Life 
Pingback: Audacious Imaginations – Flourishing @ Life
The Gift of Failure can be a truly humbling experience. I hate to say that most of my failures have been sports-related, but that is truly all that my life has been about. I can remember early on in my college career, my freshman fall to be more exact I was a wee bit too cocky. I was the number one pitcher to come out of Wyoming in my graduating class and during that fall I pitched in an outside scrimmage against some 4th and 5th-year seniors that have been around the game a long time. And yes you can probably guess where this story is heading…. During this outing I struggled, I walked a couple guys gave up some hits, and managed to give up my first college HR. At this time the Gift of Failure humbled me and taught me to respect the game and the others who play the game.
LikeLike
In life, you will encounter highs and lows that you may or may not be ready for. Each season that I go through I try and make sure that I understand what I am dealing with and how to get out of a tough season. The gift of failure does not come easy for me. I guess that is the athlete in me. I try to always give 100% in everything I do. If you never fail, you’ll never understand the strive will embark on when you win another game. After I finished high-school, I ended my sports career because I didn’t think I was good enough to play in college. I realized the Gift of Failure that I wasn’t capable of playing, but the experience I got during college and the friendships I made, made it worth not playing college sports.
LikeLike
In life, you will encounter highs and lows that you may or may not be ready for. Each season that I go through I try and make sure that I understand what I am dealing with and how to get out of a tough season. The gift of failure does not come easy for me. I guess that is the athlete in me. I try to always give 100% in everything I do. If you never fail, you’ll never understand the strive will embark on when you win another game. After I finished high-school, I ended my sports career because I didn’t think I was good enough to play in college. I realized the Gift of Failure that I wasn’t capable of playing, but the experience I got during college and the friendships I made, made it worth not playing college sports.
LikeLike
Failure is something that many people handle differently. Every season at some point in throughout I feel like I have failed. But learning how to control my emotions when I do fail at sports is something I have worked on all my life. Baseball is known as the game of failure, because it’s the only sport u can fail 7/10 times and still be considered an amazing baseball player. I give 100% in everything I do rather it’s sports, school, or even my relationship. If you have never failed you will never know how to overcome adversity once life truly hits you in the real world. After many year of playing different sports and failing in all them at some point in my life. Failing at a young age helped me be ready to accomplish things like playing a college sport and getting my degree. If you haven’t read the book “Gift of Failure” I truly recommend it.
LikeLike
Personally I do not handle failure very well at all. I am often so scared of it I would rather hold off on what I am scared or anxious about, which in turn causes more fear and more anxiety. I have come to realize often times what I am scared of is something so small that it won’t bother me in a week, but in that moment it is the biggest obstacle in my life. As a coach I have learned that speaking to athletes or trying to make them more comfortable around things that are scary to them is really all they need. they need to know that not everything needs to be taken so serious. On the other hand I have things that you hope to teach my athletes that are more serious and require more thinking because they could lead up to how their whole life is laid out in front of them. Still letting them know that failure is okay is one of the main things I like to focus on as a coach. After all, softball is a game of failure, and you will fail many more times than you succeed. How you are able to handle that failure and use it in your life can make or break you!
LikeLike