If you find it impossible to see yourself in any of the content Eggerichs shares in Cracking the Communication Code, such as Michael and Tom’s hunting story, the misunderstanding in the airport terminal, or the hamburger question, then you have NEVER had a genuine conversation with a member of the opposite gender! Laughing out loud at the humorous approach Eggerichs employs to assist us in comprehending the challenges of communication in relationships, especially marital ones, I am reminded of my Struggle With Singleness while at the same time appreciative of just how much energy is required to maintain a healthy marriage.
Attempting to fathom the gargantuan effort needed to embrace effective communication in order for our relationships to flourish, Eggerichs describes the visual imagery of Sunglasses and Hearing Aids. “One of the most popular analogies we use at our Love and Respect Conferences describes the differences between men and women in terms of pink and blue. Women look at the world through pink sunglasses, while men look at that same world through blue sunglasses—and, believe me, they do not necessarily see the same thing!” Let me see if I can offer a personal example of the differences between pink and blue conversations.
After the death of my 10-year-old gas lawn mower, there was a need to make a new purchase; and after a complicated process (in efforts to not regret my decision), I purchased a new battery-powered mower. Following that initial mowing adventure with an unfamiliar device, the phone conversation with my parents might have transpired in this manner:
Dad: Did you use the new mower?
Me: Yes, it worked great.
Dad: Good. I love you. Bye.Mom: Did you use the new mower?
Me: Yes, it worked great.
Mom: Did the batteries last as long as you wanted? Did you have to bag the grass this time? What did your neighbors think? Are you happy you chose that model? What are your plans for this week?
What do you think? The first is a blue Sunglasses and Hearing Aids conversation that focuses on the achievement aspect; whereas, the second is from a pink perspective and addresses the relationship aspect. Eggerichs goes on to describe the details of the Love and Respect Conflict that can occur between the two genders, sharing stories from readers and conference attendees; and I truly resonate with his concept that at the core of all communication conflict is a faith crisis. Reminding us that “no one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ,” Eggerichs offers, “My advice is always the same: instead of judging each other for your God-given differences, put your heads and hearts together as best you can. Choose to see your differences as essential to being a great team.”
Whether you are currently married, widowed, or single, flourishing relationships will only emerge through effective communication and this applies to personal and professional settings. Eggerichs sums up the importance well when he affirms, “The key to cracking the communication code is realizing your mate [or any relationship whether with a colleague, athlete, student, or mentor] always hears with different hearing aids and sees with different sunglasses.”
I’m sure we all have numerous stories to share which exemplify the Sunglasses and Hearing Aids paradox such as the ones I often hear between male coaches and female athletes and vice versa (the first being more predominant in college athletics). The important focus here is on intentional, God-honoring communication in all our relationships. “Scripture is very clear that God views us as equal: “there is neither male or female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). But this verse does not do away with gender differences. Anatomy alone proves that. But what this verse does say is that, in the eyes of God, we are equal in value.”
Is there someone who comes to mind that is a master at communicating in both pink and blue? Please describe their approach to relationships in the area below.
Reference:
Flourishing @ Life 
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