Perhaps you have been a reader for a while and are familiar with my personal affinity for understanding the unique way that we have all been created; however, if you are new to engaging with me, then your eyes might be opened to the numerous ways that I relish opportunities to “delight in our differences.” And as someone who works in a sport-related profession, which tends to attract more males than females, the differences between genders have been especially evident throughout my career. But I find a great deal of pleasure, delight, and amusement in reading stories of us struggling to find our way through life, particularly when it comes to areas of communication.

While my preference is to utilize assessment tools that are not necessarily gender-specific, I do recognize the unique way God has designed men and women differently, and the delightful challenges these disparities create. Connecting back to concepts presented in Appreciating Differences, along with ideas shared in Sunglasses and Hearing Aids, this post will highlight one of the best visuals I’ve ever been provided that speaks to finding ways to delight in our differences and this imagery is of Waffles and Spaghetti.

In their book Men Are Like Waffles—Women Are Like Spaghetti, Bill and Pam Farrel share through humorous narratives, their belief that our “genetic differences are purposeful, useful, and strategically beneficial for the human race as a whole. We believe God created us as male and female so we would better reflect the awesome image of God. We also believe relationships are an integral part of God’s nature so that every person has a strong desire to be in a supportive, intimate relationship.” Although their approach is mainly focused on married couples, I find that the principles they share apply to any and all relationships that exist involving more than one person. Their picture of Waffles and Spaghetti “captures the basics of how men and women interact with life. It’s especially easy because it involves food, which most of us enjoy.”

So, let’s see if you agree with my delight in this imagery and can relate to the concepts presented. Men are like Waffles in that they “process life in boxes. If you look at the top of a waffle, you see a collection of boxes separated by walls…His thinking is divided up into boxes that have room for one issue and one issue only…The typical man lives in one box and one box only. As a result, when a man is at work, he is at work. When he is in the garage tinkering around, he is in the garage tinkering…Social scientists call this ‘compartmentalizing’—that is, separating life and responsibilities into different compartments.” Does anyone disagree with me at this point in the conversation?

Let’s move on to women being like Spaghetti. “Women process information more like a plate of pasta. If you look at a serving of spaghetti, you’ll notice there are lots of individual noodles that all touch each other. If you attempt to follow one noodle around the plate, you’ll intersect a lot of other noodles, and you might even switch to another noodle seamlessly…Every thought and issue is connected to every other thought and issue in some way…women consistently sense the need to talk things through. In conversation, she can link together the logical, emotional, relational, and spiritual aspects of the issue. The links come to her naturally…This difference in style often creates significant stress for couples because while the wife is making all the connections, the husband is frantically jumping from box to box trying to keep up with the conversation. The man’s eyes are rolling back in his head while a tidal wave of information is swallowing him up.” Do you not find yourself laughing out loud picturing the thousands of moments in your life where this imagery has been proven so accurate?

If you need evidence that God created us male and female with unique patterns and rhythms to how we approach life, just engage with the Ferrel’s, they describe the dynamics of every home and every relationship I have had the privilege to be a part of, whether personal or professional. We need both Waffles and Spaghetti in this world, or it might prove to be a very boring place–the Waffles might never make any connections and the Spaghetti might never solve a problem!

It would take numerous posts to share the wealth of information and the funny stories we can take away from Waffles and Spaghetti, however, I do wonder if after reading this post, if anyone is willing to share a specific incidence when you were able to delight in the differences between Waffles and Spaghetti?

References:

Farrel, B. & Farrel, P. (2016). Men are like waffles—women are like spaghetti: Understanding and delighting in your differences. [Kindle version]. Harvest House Publishers.