For the past year or so, it seems as if the dark hour of three o’clock in the morning is when God prefers to connect the dots between the various ideas that have passed through my awareness throughout the day. Perhaps it is in this wee hour that my brain creates some type of reset; sifting through the content of the day, whether from Scripture, books, messages, song lyrics or conversations, and meshes it all together in an effort to make sense of the world around me. Conceivably, this magical hour is the time when I’m most available for an Intimate Conversation with my Creator. As the mind processes the day that has now passed and before it begins to engage in the day ahead, I am open and accessible to really hear the still, small voice of my Father.

This awakening at Three AM is teaching me the importance of making tough decisions. Do I brave the adjustment my eyes will require if I opt for turning on the light, searching for reading glasses, and locating paper and pen to document what my brain is processing, or do I choose to remain lying in the dark, confident that all will be remembered at a more reasonable hour of the day? Personally, I believe I am a much better student at say, 8:00 a.m. than 3:00 a.m.

Why Three AM? Why not after the alarm clock has sung its morning reveille at 5:00 a.m.? That’s two more hours of precious sleep! I’m an early riser, but the sun really should be encroaching onto the horizon in the near future before being awakened! However, I’m beginning to reach the conclusion that at Three AM, the time has not yet arrived when it is necessary to adorn the mask and filters that correspond to the various roles of life; it’s a time where my heart and mind are open and free. It’s at Three AM that God is asking me to jot down what He is sharing because it is likely to flitter away with the coming dawn. During this Three AM call, authentic Julie shows up. Thoughts flow freely and I find myself pondering the issues that really matter in life. At Three AM, the deep concerns of what God is opening my spiritual eyes to see takes precedence over my to-do list for the day and over worries about what I will wear or eat.

It is in these early morning moments when the words from Matthew 6 become most alive. At Three AM I’m not worried about having “enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear…Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow…And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you? (NLT). At Three AM, I am reminded of the heartfelt lyrics from one of my favorite songs, Everything by Lauren Daigle, “Even the sparrow has a place to lay its head/ So why would I let worries steal by breath?/ Even the roses, You have clothed in brilliant red.”

The flowers, the birds, they aren’t worried about the expectations for being a rose or sparrow, they just are. And at Three AM, I’m just Julie; the woman striving and failing to be the flourishing child of God that I desire to be. It’s those wee hours before dawn when I’m able to hear the clearest what is being spoken to me, and it’s the time I’m most open to hearing from the Lord, even when it leaves me Respectfully Mystified. Or perhaps at Three AM, everything seems insightful and deep, but I’m choosing to trust that God is using those precious moments to guide and direct my path; that these aren’t just passing thoughts, but when I choose to be authentic and vulnerable Julie, He will communicate and I should be obedient and write. Because if I wait, thoughts will return to what assignments need grading, what chores I need to complete around the house, whose sickness or issues need praying for, what errands need to be completed, what will the weather be today, and did the world fall apart over night? All the detritus of the American life seeps in and cascades over the thoughts that first tickled my brain at Three AM, and they become washed away by other worries often less important, such as who won the football game after I fell asleep in the last quarter?

Why does the authentic Three AM me have to give way to the daytime me? That is a struggle that I cannot answer today; however, I will continue to stay open to hearing from God whenever He whispers, I will choose to remove distractions and quietly listen to what He desires to share, even if it happens to come at Three AM!

References:

Mabury, P., Daigle, L. & Ingram, J. (2018). Everything. Centricity Music.