You are welcome. You are safe. You Are Important. Please picture this scenario. You and a friend are seated at a restaurant and that friend physically removes their phone from the table, placing it in a place to avoid distraction. Or perhaps, they make an intentional choice not to look at their wrist while engaged in a face-to-face conversation with you. This simple act of hospitality sends a vital message that You Are Important. You are more important than what is happening elsewhere in the world; more important than an alert on the wrist; and you have their full attention. Regardless of the setting, these are significant acts that demonstrate you are valued whether with a friend, a colleague, or amid classmates.

In a society where empathy seems to be in short supply, where it’s difficult to Walk a Mile in Someone Else’s Shoes, and where it’s difficult to be heard above the noise of busyness and distractions, people are yearning to know that they are seen and heard, that they are indeed Important. So, I return to the statement, You Are Important to highlight the importance of creating a Culture of Hospitality that could perhaps lessen the gap in The Space Between Us, and forge new bonds that allow us to understand another person’s perspective. How can we communicate to others that they are welcomed, safe, and important?

The author Christine Pohl is someone who appears repeatedly in my research on hospitality, emphasizing the Christian tradition of welcoming others. Much of my focus relates to the college classroom, and how we can demonstrate hospitality in this specific area of influence for those in the season of emerging adulthood; however, I envision applications to numerous situations where the practice of hospitality can be implemented to open dialogue, to feed both the body and soul, and to bridge gaps, which ultimately leads to all participants recognizing that they are indeed Important. Where I am personally being challenged is in developing a Listening Life, where I am focused, not just on hearing others, but truly listening to them, especially with my eyes.

Pohl offers, “the most important practice of welcome is giving a person our full attention. It is impossible to overstate the significance of paying attention, listening to people’s stories, and taking time to talk with them…It means that we view individuals as human beings rather than as embodied needs or interruptions.” In higher education, I believe we can cultivate Hospitality Rooms that allow the facilitator and the participants to both welcome and feel welcomed. It might take a Barn Raising approach, where the people present embrace engaging in Side-by- Conversations, that honor giving our full attention which includes placing phones out of reach, implementing Appreciative Inquiry, and listening with our eyes.

There are also simple ways to communicate You Are Important to people within our sphere of influence, especially when we develop a Habit of Awareness for others, where we invest the time to learn their language of appreciation, so that we shift the focus off of ourselves and onto the other person, giving them our full attention. “We communicate welcome and our appreciation for people when we remember their names, and when we make sure they are oriented to the practices of the group…When we give people time and space, and create an environment that is respectful of them, strangers know they have found a safe place,” shares Pohl. This full attention is one of the reasons I enjoy the advising process with students. It’s a time for them to share their life stories with me, to discuss their aspirations and dreams, without the interruption of others, and to hopefully allow me a little insight into what life is like in their shoes and how our university can assist in equipping emerging adults to flourish at life.

Perhaps my own aspirations to see a society where we are able to Reclaim Conversation, where we are effective at using Appreciate Inquiry, and people know that They Are Important, is unattainable, but I’m not ready to relinquish this dream. Maybe if we can create this Culture of Hospitality on our campus, in our classrooms, we can initiate a ripple effect that fulfills our mission to develop character that expands outward in service to Church and society. Please dream with me, strive with me, to create a generation that flourishes. We may not have the privilege to see the results in our lifetime, however, I firmly believe that “A generation flourishes when it plants trees under which they will never sit.”

When have you experienced a time when there was no doubt You Are Important? What attitudes or characteristics from someone else made you feel that way? Please feel free to share in the comments below.

References:

Anderson, S.B. (2020). The space between us: How Jesus teaches us to live together when politics and religion pull us apart. Rodney Anderson, LLC.

Pohl, C. (2002). Hospitality, a practice and a way of life. Vision.