There is a lengthy crack that runs through a large portion of my driveway. It’s not pleasing to the eye, but it stays because many attempts I’ve seen at repairing other pebbled surfaces really don’t seem to improve the aesthetics. During cold seasons, the crack rarely draws my attention, but in the warm months when yardwork becomes a weekly task and I make pass after pass over the driveway, it annoys me a little more. However, by the time the mowing, edging, trimming, and sweeping are completed, it recedes from my mind as I’m hot and tired, anxious to retreat into the air-conditioned house. That is, until I notice a tiny green sprout beginning to emerge smack dab in the middle of the driveway.

Why did God create weeds…and mosquitoes? Really! And why did he make them so hearty? Walking through my neighborhood on a summer day on paved asphalt, you can find weeds everywhere. No soil, no water…nothing but a teeny crack between the curb and roadway, and that stubborn spurge will flourish. If I fail to pull it out of my landscape bed or spray it with chemicals early, that spurge will spread and spread. Every week, I must be intentional about removing the weeds or soon my shrubs and flowers will be overrun.

In the book Choosing Gratitude, Nancy DeMoss describes our failure to be thankful as the Weeds of Ingratitude. “It really is surprising how easily ingratitude can worm its way into our habit patterns. But actually, it shouldn’t be a surprise at all, because ingratitude is the taproot out of which grows a host of other sins. And if we don’t put the axe to that root, we provide Satan with a wide, vacant lot on which to set up his little shop of horrors in our hearts.” Just like the spurge in my landscape beds or driveway, when I don’t intentionally address ingratitude in my life, it can take root and flourish in ways I never dreamed possible.

Heather Day, author of It’s Not Your Turn shares that the Weeds of Ingratitude will frequently manifest itself in the form of selfishness. “Self is the tiny seed that, if watered, chokes everything, even its host.” Although it is important that we practice self-care, especially in a world that has us running at a hectic pace, the balance can easily shift to the opposite if we are not cautious. Gratitude allows our hearts to focus on other’s contributions and blessings to us, whereas ingratitude shifts the emphasis inwards and we begin to ask when is it my turn? “Here is the thing: selfishness is not just immoral, it is the complete antithesis of who God is and what the gospel is about. It erodes the government of God. Selfishness is the seed of the Lucifer effect. When you refuse to clap for others while It’s Not Your Turn, you water that seed just a little bit more…The idea that a little selfish seed—unchecked—can grow into a vicious garden.”

Both DeMoss and Day encourage readers to heed their garden and ask personal and probing questions about what we are allowing to take root and flourish in our lives. Personally, it’s easy for me to allow Weeds of Ingratitude to grow too large when I choose to be lazy and not address the weed as soon as it peeks out of the cracks in my life. Often, I make the wrong choice between Whine or Worship and it takes a lot more effort to engage in positive self-talk, surrendering in prayer, and refocusing my mind to overcome my sinfulness, when if I had only been intentional about addressing the weed as soon as it appeared, I would have prevented a great deal of heartache.

All of us have weeds that inhibit our growth to a flourishing life. Perhaps, ingratitude is not your weed, but research informs us that it is damaging our society as we become more self-focused and less others-focused. If we can attend to the weeds in our life, whatever they may be, then perhaps we will find ourselves one step closer to creating the Habits of a Flourishing Life!

Please feel free to share in the comments below any practical suggestions that might be useful for combating the Weeds of Ingratitude.

“Oh Lord, please forgive me for so often being forgetful of Your goodness, for acting as if I deserve anything more (or different) than what I have received, for sinfully comparing myself and my blessings with others’, for being oblivious to so many expressions of Your grace, and for allowing roots of pride and ingratitude to grow up in my heart. Forgive me for the many times and ways I reflect negatively on Your character and Your goodness, by verbalizing discontent and murmuring to others. Grant me a spirit of true repentance and a heart that is always abounding, overflowing in gratitude toward You and others.”

DeMoss Gratitude Prayer

References:

Day, H.T. & Downs, A.F. (2021). It’s not your turn: What to do while you’re waiting for your breakthrough. [Kindle version]. IVP Books.

DeMoss, N.L. (2009). Choosing gratitude: Your journey to joy. [Kindle version]. Moody Publishers.