What’s the Return Policy? Believe me, with today’s access to purchasing online, I’m scrolling down to the bottom of the page and locating the fine print that explains what happens if I am unsatisfied with my purchase. Because without having the ability to try on those cloudswift running shoes to see if they are true to size, this thrifty shopper wants to be guaranteed she can receive a refund! Or take that gift that you receive from someone who just seems to miss the mark on accuracy—what’s the Return Policy so you can trade it for an item you really want? Ninety-days? Great, plenty of time! Better yet—a gift receipt so no one is stuck receiving the current sale price instead of full retail value.

Would the world not operate better if all of the unwanted things in life had a clear Return Policy? You see, although I know that Scripturally I should agree with statements like “struggling is a gift,” there is a stubbornness in my soul that wants to refute that any circumstance I view as being in opposition to my happiness, to my flourishing, should be labeled as a gift. Of course, we all struggle with something–whether it’s self-imposed, God-imposed, or just a part of being included in the human race–what one person views as a struggle, someone else might view as a gift. And although singleness is not suffering, as friends with chronic illness must endure, sometimes it’s not a gift either, so I wonder if God might be willing to initiate a Return Policy for me.

Perhaps your life has not required you to camp out for extended periods of time—like say, decades–in the Waiting Room of singleness, but for some of us who seem to be stuck, we rely on authors like Michelle McKinney Hammond to offer us a door out of the room. Her humor, combined with her unshakable faith, often provides me a lifeline to gaining a healthy perspective on how God might desire to use my singleness for His glory, and her latest book to fall into my hands was entitled If Singleness is a Gift, What’s the Return Policy? Hammond’s wisdom and insight will likely lead to numerous future posts, but here is a nugget that serves as a faithful reminder to me, “…if you had spoken to me ten years ago, I would have asked you to show me the counter where I could return the gift of singleness. But today I can safely say my singleness is a gift I have learned to treasure. I now consider a different type of Return Policy associated with the gift. Not how I can get rid of my singleness, but the returns I receive from my single status.”

Another nugget of Hammond’s wisdom weaves itself easily into the Habits of a Flourishing Life, “There are returns from the single life if you use your free time wisely. Discover your gifts, and make the best use of them to chart a course for fulfilling your purpose and your destiny. Take the time to learn about yourself, who you are and who God created you to be, which will make you free to love, laugh, and thoroughly enjoy life as it is right now. Go to new places, do new things, discover new experiences. You are free to do it all.” And I readily admit that I take full advantage of the go, do, and discover—I’m not sure this wanderlust for adventures will ever be completely satisfied. After all, I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list!

In addition to going, doing, and discovering, Hammond also challenges us to recognize the importance of taking time to Sit and Savor whatever Season God happens to have us in. “If God has chosen this time in our lives to be spent alone with Him, it has to be a blessing. A blessing that should enrich our lives and add no sorrow. Therefore, our singleness should be considered a good and perfect gift from the One who loves us most. It is up to us to see the value of it and learn how to enjoy it…Married or single, we must learn to eat what is set before us and savor the flavor” and not be searching for a Return Policy!

Sorry if you hold the opinion that I have included too many quotes in this post, but sometimes, I resist rephrasing the prose of an amazing author. So, in closing, Hammond adds that we shift our perspective, “There have been way too many ‘You aren’t married yet?’ questions chipping away at my self-esteem, innumerable ‘What’s wrong with me?’ sessions turned into pity parties. My question some days really is: ‘If singleness is a gift, what’s the Return Policy?’ I have friends all over the country floundering in their singleness…Do I think singleness is a gift? In its own way, yes, absolutely. However, it’s important to understand, that doesn’t necessarily mean I want the gift forever!”

Lord, I thank you that there is no available Return Policy on my current singleness, and I promise to improve my mindset on the days that it doesn’t seem like a gift. In the meantime, please be patient with me and accept my prayer that I would not be saddened if your future did include someone to be a witness to my flourishing life, and he happened to come along soon!

Reference:

Virden, H. & Hammond, M. M. (2003). If singleness is a gift, what’s the return policy? Thomas Nelson.