Perhaps we are not well acquainted. If that is the case, let me offer an attempt to prepare you before you continue reading—I’m not afraid to ask hard questions—whether those questions are for myself, for others, for leaders, or for God. There might be a slight hesitation if I fear I should already possess the answers, but for the most part, I’m transparent about my curiosity for knowledge, even when inquiries are difficult to answer. And perhaps offering hard questions has cost me, however, I’m not sure that I will ever be able to accept when what we say and what we do are misaligned.

So, when I Wrestle with saying that I am a Follower, and not just a Fan of Christ, then hard questions arise such as How to Die? Now, as an avid reader and viewer of crime stories, I am fully aware of the numerous ways that humans are capable of taking another person’s life. As a person who has celebrated more than fifty birthdays, I have lost my share of friends and family to horrible diseases along with natural deaths. How to Die, physically, is not the hard question, the more challenging inquiry comes when I read from Scripture in Luke 9:23 that “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and Follow Me.”

In his book Not a Fan, Kyle Idleman shares, “The slogan for followers of Christ could accurately be captured this way: Come and Die…Not really the kind of slogan that draws people in…Nobody wants to talk about death…Death is so final; it’s so complete…The symbol for followers of Christ…is a cross. An instrument of torture and death.” My perspective of the Roman cross was altered drastically on a trip to Israel in 2017 for two reasons. The first reason was a moment of witnessing pilgrims choose to carry a wooden cross along the Via Dolorosa in Jerusalem’s Old City. Because of the strain physically on some members of the group, our guide actually brought us down the Sorrowful Way for an easier route, and we were only carrying ourselves! The second reason came on the tour of Nazareth Village when we were informed that the wooden cross before us was intentionally mounted at the same height that was the custom at the time. Rather than a cross high on a hill and out of reach as I imagined, it was close enough that I could picture how easily the spit from a bystander could reach my loving Savior. Idleman offers, “[We’ve] turned it into ornaments and pieces of jewelry. But to those who were hearing these words of Jesus in Luke 9 the invitation to take up a cross would have been both offensive and repulsive.”

So, if that’s the accurate imagery of what it means to Follow, I must be honest and confess, I don’t know How to Die! I am clueless of How to Die to my own desires, my own pursuits, and my own plans. I don’t know how to come to the End of Me for there are things in this world that I take delight in—from a more enlightened perspective—a student really engaging in a topic. From a more practical stance, I delight in the comfort of my home. It is a beautiful place to me that provides a safe haven from a rough-and-tumble world; it’s a great floor plan that utilizes space extremely well; I have amazing neighbors who look out for me. I’ve worked two jobs most of my life to pay it off for financial stability. I do not know How to Die to my home because I can’t replace it if I am required to move for employment. But that’s exactly what a Christ follower is asked to do—I’m asked to be a dead person.

Idleman challenges me to die. “…I don’t mean to be uncouth, but I’ve noticed something about dead people. People who are dead don’t seem to care very much what other people think…Dead people aren’t caught up in how much money is in their account…getting the promotion. The point is that death is the ultimate surrender of yourself and all that you have. When you’re dead, you’re no longer concerned with your life.” So, once again I return to the theme of this post, how do I willingly take up my cross and Die Daily? How do I wrestle this struggle to the ground so that I can truly Flourish at Life?

Reference:

Idleman, K. (2016). Not a fan: Becoming a completely committed follower of Jesus. [Audio version]. Zondervan.