“Smooth skin means nothing if your heart is rough.” This statement by Heather Creekmore in Aging Gratefully brings to light the fact that we often have a choice on whether we are Aging Gratefully or Aging Ugly. Creekmore describes an encounter with a woman whose face is etched into her memory. “Yes, it was wrinkled. But more so, it was sour as expired milk…She epitomized the grumpy neighbor…It wasn’t the appearance of her skin that made her difficult to be around. Neither was it the creases on her forehead that made me wait for the next elevator rather than ride up to the office with her. Instead, it was her disposition—her attitude.”

In previous posts related to dispositions, I’ve discussed the comparison of cultivating either a Grateful or Whiny one, but now, I offer two more comparisons related to our attitudes about aging: we can cultivate a Faithful one or an Ugly one. We have options related to our dispositions and Creekmore encourages us to embrace Aging Gratefully like we see modeled in Scripture with an elderly widow named Anna, who “didn’t let aging spoil her attitude” about praising God. “Remembering that we have the good news can revitalize us better than any antiaging skin cream. The daily active worship of God can keep our joy from sagging. And the beauty of seeing the gospel at work in our own lives and the lives of others can tighten our faith as nothing else can. Each of these practices will keep us from Aging Ugly.”

Other talented writers like J. Ellsworth Kalas point us to Psalm 92 where we can be reminded that the righteous flourish like palm trees and cedars, and in old age they still produce fruit (vv. 12-14). “As we grow older we become more introspective and retrospective. We ask ourselves, as indeed we should, if we’ve made the best use of our years.” As we take inventory, perhaps it is too late to win an Olympic medal or become Miss America, but according to the psalmist, it’s not too late to still bear fruit! “I’m not surprised that the psalmist sees the righteous flourishing; one expects as much. But I’m happy that this flourishing continues into old age, and that—especially—it manifests itself in productivity.”

In combating Aging Ugly, now is the time to change any unhealthy habits so that we lessen the burden we may have on younger generations. For those embracing Aging Gratefully, we can utilize simple good sense. “If we use our automobile rightly we expect it to be good in old age. Why not also this human life, this life of ours that is made for righteous living? Mind you, this has nothing particular to do with economic, athletic, political or social success, nor is it an ironclad case for good health—though in all these areas one can expect that the odds are with doing right rather than wrong. But it has everything to do with our inner character [disposition] and our relationship with God.”

I find it refreshing that Creekmore, Kalas, and Aronson all recommend an activity that can be engaged in–at any age, in any circumstance, and any phase of life– that provides an antidote to Aging Ugly—Cultivating Gratitude. Kalas shares practices such as walking around town, thanking God with each step for friends, teachers, coaches, and professors. By Cultivating Gratitude for these people and experiences is “one of the ways to grow older without growing old…Gratitude, for example, is in some measure a learned trait…I’m sorry for the people I didn’t always thank and those I’m sure I didn’t thank adequately…[However we can] Thank God for the good people you once knew, and extend forgiveness in your own soul to those who once hurt you…Rejoice in the good you can remember.”

Is there anyone in your life that models how to combat Aging Ugly, that rejoices in the good they’ve experienced? Would you consider sharing about them in the comments below?

References:

Aronson, L. (2019). Elderhood: Redefining aging, transforming medicine, reimagining life. Bloomsbury Publishing.

Creekmore, H. (2024). Aging gratefully: A 30-day devotional for women. Our Daily Bread Publishing.

Kalas, J.E. (2013). I love growing older but I’ll never grow old.  Abingdon Press.