I didn’t deserve that! Has there ever been a time when these words dripped from your mouth? Or at least crossed your mind? Something as insignificant as being cut off in traffic—I didn’t deserve that! Who do they think they are? Or perhaps, after a broken relationship or dream has come crashing down all around you—I didn’t deserve that! What do I do now? I doubt there is any human being alive who has not uttered these words at some time or another. We might not want to admit that we felt this way, but we actually did.

As I listened to a message entitled “The Two Sons” from Annie Downs recently, I admit that she not only stepped on one toe of mine, she pretty much made sure I had nothing but a complete set of Stepped-On Toes! You see, Downs was sharing a well-known story from Scripture, often entitled The Prodigal Son. Pick this one or the Martha, Martha, Martha story from Luke 10 and the guilt arises because I tend to see myself more in the older brother and in Martha than the prodigal son and Mary.

Downs shares, “Here’s what true. If I’m inclined in a direction in this story, I’m inclined toward the other brother. That is my inclination…I’m aware this is me. This is what I lean toward. And I want to be different…But you know what? I don’t love confessing to you that this older brother thing still gets me. It’s 20 years later and it still gets me sometimes where I think I deserve better than I’m getting…Maybe it’s the thorn in my flesh. Maybe it’s the thing that God lets stay near so that I’m always reminded that pride is like a breath away from me.” Like Downs admits, I too struggle with How to Die and the Why Not Me? moments in life, but her perspective really stabs my heart when she talks about all the Missed Parties the “older brothers” in the story experience.

Downs continues by discussing what a master storyteller Jesus is when He leaves us hanging without a beautiful ending that occurs in His parables. “The parable of the two sons does not have a beautiful ending for the older brother. In this whole chapter, it’s the only story Jesus leaves hanging. He wraps up the younger son. He wraps up the father. He leaves us hanging on the older brother.” Humility versus pride is what Jesus is trying to teach us, but it’s hard to listen. Continuing on, Downs shares that she desires to know what happens to the older brother. Me too, Annie, me too!

Offering her perspective on the ending, Downs recognizes that the older brother’s mindset did not save him from pain. His stubborn refusal to join his father meant he missed the party. Instead of joining the celebration, he stayed sulking about how he should be celebrated because he did the right thing and stayed with his father. “His mindset did not save him from hurt. It made him miss the party. Wow. That’s what happens to the older brother.” And then Downs graciously admits that she has suffered from many Missed Parties like the older brother. “Jesus is giving us a parable. These aren’t real people. And the father is like God our Father. And here’s the beautiful thing for you and me. Jesus is a better older brother… Jesus doesn’t look down on us or judge us…He is not missing the party. He is there. He sacrificed so that we could come home.”

Downs offers a solution to the Missed Parties by encouraging us to repent, to confess our sins, and to be healed. She desires that we don’t miss out on a revival because we are holding a grudge. We will constantly have to decide if we are willing to hold onto something like the older brother or Let It Go. Instead, be like the father so you don’t miss the celebration, the party. Downs acknowledges that hurt is painful. She states, “There’s pain under our sin. So, we confess to each other to be healed.” We make a choice to get rid of the older brother stuff, so we don’t have to miss any more parties when someone returns home.

I confess to you right now that it’s challenging for me not to judge and think people should receive what they deserve. But that’s my downfall, it’s not the way it has to be. Jesus offers us grace, like the father in the story, to come home as we are, broken and battered. All we must choose is to humble ourselves, pray, seek His face, and turn away from our wicked ways. In other words, “Don’t be the older brother. Got it…God, I’m not quitting. We won’t quit. We love you, Jesus. We trust you. Teach us to be like the father. I don’t want to be either of these brothers. I want to be like you…Amen.”

Reference:

Downs, A. .(2025, August 3). The two sons. Fresh Life Church. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pbfylvN-k8