As I have mentioned before, for those of us serving in academia, the new year does not really begin in January. It begins in August, or, increasingly, sometime in July when campus parking lots begin filling up again. As I begin year three in Campbellsville, I find myself in a familiar season of reflection. Summer camps are winding down, residence halls are coming alive, and a fresh wave of Emerging Adults is arriving on campus. Some have traveled only a few hours while others have crossed oceans and continents, bringing everything they own in a single suitcase while stepping into a new country, new culture, and completely new chapter of life.
To be fair, my move from Tennessee to Kentucky and from one Christian university to another did not involve quite the same level of cultural adjustment. Nobody had to explain sweet tea to me, although I did have to learn what Slow Time means. Some of our students, however, arrive carrying far larger transitions than I ever experienced. Of all the concerns I had during my own move, finding friends was surprisingly low on the list. Finding a sense of belonging? Absolutely. Learning new systems and routines? Certainly. Wondering whether I could successfully navigate a new role and community? More than once. But friendships themselves did not concern me greatly because I have come to trust a few truths that have guided me through every transition.
First, my Savior’s presence goes wherever I go. Second, family and Abiding Friendships remain, regardless of geography. The people who truly know you do not disappear simply because your ZIP code changes. And third, I have generally found that community exists in most places if I am willing to engage with the people around me.
A college campus filled with athletic events, student organizations, residence halls, chapel services, coffee shops, and servant leaders who genuinely care about others is about as good a place as any to Find Your People. Which is why I find myself somewhat puzzled when I read and listen to experts discussing what they call the Friendship Recession.
Now, don’t misunderstand me. I see evidence of it every day. I work with students who are longing to belong. I observe individuals surrounded by people yet feeling deeply alone. I understand the statistics and believe they are real. What I struggle to grasp is the reality of that loneliness because it has simply not been my lived experience.
Whether making friends through professional communities such as CSKLS and CWS, finding connections through church involvement, or even enjoying a brief friendship during a travel adventure, I have generally been able to find common ground with people. This is somewhat ironic considering my introverted tendencies. Left to my own devices, I would happily spend an afternoon with a good book, a comfortable chair, and minimal interaction with humanity. And yet, people continue interrupting my reading with meaningful conversations.
There may be many reasons why I have not personally experienced a Friendship Recession, but I suspect one factor may have roots in generational differences. For example, I often find myself feeling more frustrated than delighted when I log on to social media. Perhaps it is because I still approach these platforms with what now seems like an outdated assumption: I expect to see updates from my friends. You know, actual friends. People I have met. People whose stories I know. People whose successes I celebrate and whose struggles I pray for. Instead, I am greeted by advertisements, suggested accounts, influencers I have never heard of, and recommendations that assure me this complete stranger is exactly who I need to follow next. But they are not my friends.
Now, I am grateful for many of the online connections that have introduced me to valuable ideas, encouraging resources, and thoughtful voices. In fact, several of the resources below came to my attention because of those online spaces. However, these connections are not what I would call Abiding Friendships. They are not my Tuesday People…those trusted individuals who show up consistently, celebrate joys, carry burdens, and know the stories behind the headlines of my life.
Online connections can be wonderful additions to our communities. They simply cannot replace the relationships that emerge from shared experiences, faithful presence, and life lived together. We do not Flourish Together exclusively through screens.
Please hear me clearly: I am not advocating that we abandon online communities. Many provide genuine hospitality, encouragement, and opportunities for learning. They can serve important purposes and often open doors to meaningful connections. What I am encouraging is intentional attentiveness to the Power of Presence. Welcome the new student who sits alone. Introduce yourself to the new faculty member. Invite the new staff member to lunch. Learn the name of the new neighbor. Open a chair at your table. Extend hospitality even to people who are simply “new to you.”
Relish the face-to-face opportunities that arrive each day. Invest in conversations that move beyond small talk. Choose presence over convenience whenever possible. And perhaps, if we do that often enough, none of us will be able to claim we have experienced a Friendship Recession. Instead, we may discover friendships that flourish into the abiding relationships God intends for us…relationships marked by presence, belonging, encouragement, and joy. And, of course, that includes our friendship with Him.
Below are a few resources that recently crossed my radar. Each offers a thoughtful perspective on friendship, loneliness, belonging, and human flourishing. I hope you find them as interesting and thought-provoking as I did.
References:
Eckert, J. (2026, August 13). 250 years later, What if the pursuit of happiness isn’t the goal? Christian Scholars Review. https://christianscholars.com/250-years-later-what-if-the-pursuit-of-happiness-isnt-the-goal/
Lusko, L. (2026, August 10). Why can’t we be friends? Is that in the Bible?: House of David, Part 6. Fresh Life Church. https://freshlife.church/messages/doing-your-best-when-life-is-the-worst-2/
Voysey, S. (2026, August 11). An AI ‘friend’ won’t cure your loneliness. Here’s what research actually shows. Friendships Lab. https://www.friendshiplab.org/blog/an-ai-friend-wont-cure-your-loneliness/
